Sleeping. Eating. Drinking.

A little family time

2011-11-10T09:40:00.001-06:00

This last weekend Jude's Grandpa and Great Aunt were in town to celebrate a string of birthday's.
We played the piano, watched movies, ate pizza and went to check out some local art.
It's always so much fun to see Jude getting to know his relatives, even if they live many miles away. I hope that he will always maintain a great relationship with each one of them. My extended family is small and Jude is the only grandchild for my parents. If he feels as loved as i do from all my extended family, he'll turn out just fine. Sometimes having a small family is nice, but i guess i don't have much to compare it to. All i know, is we all just really enjoy each others company.

I choose sleep

2011-11-07T13:08:00.000-06:00

Most days of my life i'd rather catch some zzzz's than stay up typing away words with no specific meaning. I enjoy writing (obviously) but i don't have that obsessive compulsion that is built in to some people's DNA that keeps them going even when their eye lids close mid sentence. That's the problem with any career ambition i might seem to conjure up, i'd rather crawl under my comforter than deal with text book reading and lecture sitting or for that matter, paper writing. Maybe it's because i really don't know the direction my life is going at the present, although does anybody really? Or actually it's because i really do just like sleep. I mean who doesn't enjoy sleep? On days when it's a bit cold and the clouds form this gray oppressive layer that literally feels like its enveloping any motivation I might have started the day with, the bed calls. I walk past my short dark hallway and see the rumpled comforter peeking out the doorway, it's saying "come...you know you want to. I am so cozy and warm and soft. Who needs to be productive? Just come and take a little nap."
Now, since i have a two year old most of the time i can't give in. It's when he's sleeping that i have a hard time resisting. "Ok!" i say, "but just for a little bit, i should be doing other things."
Damn you bed, why do you have to be so tricky, but oh so inviting?
I get snuggled in and the warmth starts to blanket me while my cheek feels the softness of my flannel sheet beneath it. Soon enough i hear the click, click of the pug's toe nails as she trots down the hallway in line for the bed. Her compact little pug body nuzzles under the covers and soon she's sleeping in the crook of my legs. Her face squished but happy against my knee. She snorts and then sighs in to a dreamy sleep beside me. I drift off maybe for a handful of minutes, only to be awakened by the little boy in the next room alerting me that he is ready to get up. Nothing gets you out of bed quite like a child wanting to to paid attention to. "up, up.....uuuuuppppp!!!" Yes, alright...i hear you!!
I can't lounge quite like i used to, in college i was the master at "studying" in bed, the latter didn't last long but the naps were fabulous. Nothing lasts forever, and i need to remind myself religiously of that when i'm not able to get the sleep that i need, that i crave, even if it's absent for just one night. Honestly, the "Nothing lasts forever" mantra should be the official slogan of parenthood. It reminds me that this moment will pass, whether it is meant to remind me to linger in the moment or when i'm frustrated and angry that this too will be just another memory that i will be laughing about a few years (or weeks) down the road. Things are experienced and then forgotten, tears are cried and wiped away and heads are bonked and always kissed better. Everything is fleeting and when we have children we just hope that the moments that pass, whether they be big or small, end up tucked away in a little crevice of our brain, easily accessible when we need something to keep us going. Whether I'm lacking sleep and my eyelids feel like they are closed before they even open or i'm frustrated and short tempered because my life is not going the way i had envisioned it. I'm conciously trying to remain in the present and enjoy the moments as they come. Even if its just the few minutes i get to lie in bed with my pug, or the moment I press the publish button on my blog, these just might be enough to give me the momentum i need without having to bide my time before i can have my first glass of wine and drink my anxieties away. The little moments, they matter more than any one of us ever anticipates.

Have a Spooky weekend!

2011-10-28T21:01:00.003-05:00

This cutie is going to be a dinosaur this weekend (or a bumble bee or shark) depending on mood, of course.
Since turning two his M.O. seems to be all about exerting his independence...i thought i had learned to let go, a lot. Turns out i need to learn to let the little things go and figure out what is really worth fighting for. Unfortunately for him, pants are a non-negotiable, when we're going out in public anyway.
Who knew putting on a pair of jeans could be so drama filled.

Taste Away

2011-10-16T20:21:00.002-05:00

I like chocolate and so should you, especially chocolate that is carefully crafted and hand wrapped. These guys know what to do with a good cocoa bean. Don't be afraid of the price, it's worth it. You should buy some...or else, well i'm not really sure, but it sounds serious! Just buy it...

In sync, out of sync?

2011-10-14T16:44:00.001-05:00

Having just read about productivity via another blog, i thought i would put my two cents in on the subject that so many people are quite obsessed with. I'm sure i could write page after page bitching about how much time people spend texting and reading facebook instead of doing their work so i will keep it short, because you have to get back to being productive right? It seems everything these days is designed to increase our productivity. We have our phones with calendars that sync with our email that sync with our laptops that sync with, well, who knows what. You would think with all this sync-ing that people would be sitting back having a drink, enjoying this free time and then becoming incredibly afraid that electronics have taken over their entire life. Is this the same as when tv dinners were the new amazing way that a housewife could escape cooking? Most of us are pretty aware that these meals in a tray may be faster and easier, but they taste like the package they are cooked in and are pretty much as healthy as the cardboard box, at least the latter might have fiber. If this is a surprise to you, i invite you to read the ingredients of your "Salisbury steak in gravy", let me know if you recognize any of those ingredients.
All this stuff that is supposed to make us productive is actually decreasing our productivity! One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone lists off all the things that they did in the day and then proceeds to tell me they didn't have time to take a lunch, and then complains about it. Come on..you schedule everything else, and if it actually comes down to you needing to schedule a lunch with yourself, i think you need to get a new job or a new life. Usually i find myself equating productivity with priorities. Think about what you really want to do in your day and make it a goal to do that. If you don't get around to doing something just say, yeah, i took a nap instead or went on the internet to research these awesome shoes i desperately wanted. Naps are good, it's ok to want to take a nap..you are not a bad person for taking one! And so are shoes, but naps have actually been shown to increase productivity. Seriously, save your money, don't buy the most technologically advanced toy and take a free siesta. So maybe it's not that i'm against increasing productivity, just don't make excuses and don't let these gadgets turn your life in to something you don't recognize. Live in the world, not behind your screens!

Now, when my iphone can sync with my brain while it is sleeping and record my dreams and interpret their meaning so i don't have to pay money to a therapist, excellent, i'll contemplate buying that.

Like a kid

2011-10-10T22:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning we walked to the park with our pajamas on. It was early and I still had my coffee mug in hand, his hand in my other hand. It was spontaneous and fun. The best times are had when you had no prior intentions, expectations or apprehensions. They look at us as their role models...i think it's time we look to them.

October

2011-10-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

I seriously love October! Here are just a few ways we have been enjoying the weather...
Going on walks and stomping in the leaves
Eating delicious fall apples
Hanging out with friends

Still a bit of summer left

mmmm....bun and isles

Fantasy Celebrity League wk 1

2011-10-06T19:42:00.002-05:00

Here are the scores from last week. Some people are clearly better celeb drafters than others...i vote for some free agent celeb pics!
Aubrey 23
Katie 10
Melissa 8
Ashley 7
Erin 5
Kerry 3

A longing for Gourmet

2011-10-03T10:56:00.001-05:00

I was throwing out some of my old magazines this weekend and among the ancient Martha Stewarts and Cookie magazines, i found some of my old dusty issues of Gourmet. Initially i was disappointed when it folded a year or so ago but as i was paging through it's glossy pages, i really began to mourn it's loss! The textures and colors of the recipes brought to life through it's gorgeous photographs made me want to continue reading and eating what i saw before my teary eyes. I miss Ruth Reichl's commentary about the intersection of life and food. I have her books but i can only read and re-read those so many times. I know you're just going to tell me to go on-line and read the new issues but that's not enough for me. I want to feel the weight of the pages and pages of recipes and ingredients in my hand. I have no desire for a kindle, i prefer to actually accumulate and read actual bound books. Maybe i'm behind the times and old fashioned. The internet has it's place and i love it but it's not enough, i want my Gourmet waiting for me once a month in my actual, real life mailbox!

Life

2011-09-24T16:42:00.000-05:00

Food Truck (yum!)

Farmer's market flowers

These would be so tasty roasted!

Enjoying some tub time with a few bath friends

A typical night

I welcome normal and routine in to my life right now...it feels really, pretty amazing.

Murphy

2011-09-04T12:36:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning i made my way to the coffee shop down the road to work on a few things for my
psychology class. Sitting down in my chair, at a very small table that was a bit wobbly, i pulled out my computer and notebook, textbook and pen. The coffee roaster stood behind me, not roasting coffee but taking up a bit of noticeable space. A small area for children was in the corner stocked with the usual germ covered wooden toys and picture books. I have a hard time settling unless i am familiar with my surroundings.
A couple years ago i was quite settled in this particular coffee shop, reading my notes at a table next to the window and in a glance a guy had his pants pulled down, full frontal. Not to take a piss or anything but just wanted the world to see what his penis looked like. I don’t understand why men want everyone to know what they’ve got down there. They’re always scratching it, pulling at it or in this case, showing it off to a room full of caffeine addicts (it was night time after all). I only got a brief show before the guy took off in to the night. I just don’t get it, i know men have penises but i don’t particularly want to see them. I sat there, a bit stunned about what just went down. I wondered if anybody else had seen this. Clearly not, nobody’s face resembled that which had just seen a strange man’s appendage. I thought it best to tell the tattooed latte pourers what just went on and they seemed a bit shocked and concerned but frankly a little confused. I didn’t really expect much from them but leaving the shop that night i was a bit on edge. What if that guy had a weird obsession with me? What if he wants to keep me from telling the authorities what he did so he just decides to murder me?! What if he wants to rape me with that ugly penis of his? Really i could go on and on, thankfully i made it to my car with no flasher in sight.
With this memory aside, I figured the morning would be a safer bet. I’m getting all my stuff out, checking my email and reading the paper when no sooner do the neighborhood seniors sit down, right next to me. One woman comes rushing in and the first words i hear out of her mouth are “I spent the whole night in the ER.” Great, here comes a story, and a long one at that.
“Yesterday while we were out, Murphy somehow got in to a whole can of cocoa powder. It looked like he had ingested quite a bit so i felt his heart and it seemed to be racing!”
“Oh my!” said the other gray haired woman.
“Yes, so you know, i thought it best to take him in. They made him throw up and then they gave him some charcoal so that the rest of the cocoa could be absorbed. He seems to be doing alright but we will be at home all weekend watching him.” She said with a sort of exasperated sigh.
“Well of course, that sounds frightful!”
Clearly focusing on my work was going to be an issue, i have enough problems i don’t need a story about a chocolate eating barfing dog to distract me anymore and i definitely don’t need to hear it told to each person who proceeded to join their coffee club. And then, lo and behold, in comes the dog. Murphy the beagle wandered around the table eating crumbs and hacking up his lungs periodically while i sat and read about conception. At least it was an intriguing chapter.

September!

2011-09-01T12:16:00.000-05:00

Yes, i know...it is a bit soon for this, but i couldn't resist.

Isn't it lovely though??

As of late, i have been meditating on my life's direction and how to find meaning in my daily activities.
I came across this article by Anne Lamott and i think it is great and inspiring. Just something to tuck in to the back of your mind for whenever you may need a reminder about purpose or what you really want your life to be. If you don't make time now, when will you??

"Oh Summer, you are slowly slipping away like the feeling left behind after that last drink that left you feeling so fine....Delicious and full of freedom, but fleeting nonetheless."

THe new happy hour

2011-08-29T12:30:00.000-05:00

There is a time in the day, that when you have a small child, your life becomes a living hell. Late afternoon is unbearable, right up until dinner is eaten, cleaned up off the floor and dishes washed, does it become bearable. I now understand the concept of happy hour. I know lots of people that when they get off work they rush over to the bar to save a few bucks on a drink or two to de-stress from their day. That is all good and lovely but i cannot take my two year old to the bar without having child protective services haul me away. Stay at home parents need a break too (maybe more so), especially if your day has been one of those you would rather forget, but since walls have been drawn on and tantrums have been thrown, it will be a day your brain won't let you forget. This is why i am instating the three tiered happy hour. The starting hour is flexible, 3pm sure, 4pm why not, and 5pm yes hurry up! This is when you start to calm down, nerves are beginning to be defrayed and your life is becoming happy, hence happy hour. This is also the time that you are trying to throw something from your fridge in to a frying pan and hoping that it comes out edible. The happy hour assists nicely in the mania that is trying to plan meals. What’s that, small child?? You only want to eat fruit snacks for dinner? Oh silly silly, you are going to sit in your chair and eat this pork chop whether you like it or not! Mommy has had a couple drinks, so don’t think that you will wear me out with your whining, i just might pass out, but then at least i will be oblivious and getting some sleep! Once you are moving in the direction of happy and you’re still standing, you can then transition in to happier territory, since you have already begun the slow and steady slide down the slippery slope of vodka (or whatever your alcohol of choice is), at this point, you should be happier. Dinner is probably on the table, or the floor, in the case of our house, but everyone is eating something at the very minimum, even if there is still the yelling for snacks! If you dare venture in to the hour that is sometimes the most difficult but final victory and bedtime is near, then you will become the happiest yet. Another drink eases the pain that is reading Good Night Moon and singing wheels on the bus fifty million times. Oh hooray again, again! Alright, small child, right after mommy drinks a little more mind eraser. I know this may sound bad but let’s just admit what we are all really thinking. Obviously we love our children but sometimes...sometimes, we just need that little something to take the edge off. Don’t feel guilty, guilt already takes up residence in other parts of our lives, don’t let it when it comes to staying cool and collected at the most critical time of day. I give you all permission to create your own happy hour(s)!

Story time

2011-05-31T22:20:00.000-05:00

He wants to finish the book so bad but is just sooo tired...sweet dreams my buddy...
xo mama

a day for cake

2011-05-22T20:56:00.000-05:00

I love celebrating Birthdays. It's the one day a year people are excited for you and encourage you to eat cake. It wasn't my birthday this past week, the hubby turned 33! Jude seems to think that it's his birthday every time we bring out cake and candles. That's ok though, I love seeing him get excited about lit candles and the way his little voice shouts out "cake!" I hope he never looses his enthusiasm for the simple things in life.

Summertime

2011-05-15T20:17:00.001-05:00

Totally exciting!

Motherhood....

2011-05-07T20:49:00.001-05:00

....is amazing....

A few days in the sun

2011-05-02T21:43:00.000-05:00

Last weekend i was in Phoenix and although the weather was a welcome change from the forty degrees and rain that seems to be blanketing MN, the weekend was interesting to say the least.
Every time i go on vacation, i return home more grateful than ever for my seemingly normal life with my husband, son and dogs. Being away makes me appreciate preparing simple meals in my own kitchen, taking walks to the park and snuggling with my pug on the couch.
Now don't get me wrong, i loved not having to worry about cleaning up spilled milk, changing diapers and planning my day around nap time. It was very refreshing having some freedom for a bit. I think i'm good though on airplane travel for a while. I still have a hard time with the thought that being trapped in a large metal object hurtling through the air at high speeds is a good idea. Something about it just freaks me out!
Oh, and i wasn't actually smoking...remember candy cigarettes? A true (and semi-disturbing) classic!

a january day

2011-01-20T20:02:00.000-06:00

Today I discovered a new yogurt i am crazy about. Apparently target has stopped carrying my much loved fage cherry yogurt so this is now the replacement.
New fun art supplies came out of storage and made their way on to some paper. They are so beautiful to look at, sometimes i actually hate to use them and ruin their pristine newness.
Jude also had his first "taste" of drawing, and by taste, yes he actually tasted the pen and pencils. So, art time might need to be put on hold for a bit until he stops thinking the drawing supplies are tasty treats.

Juice!

2011-01-11T10:32:00.000-06:00

Why can't these delicious looking juices be available here??

I did just buy a juicer so obviously i will have to start my own juicery!

Ingredient suggestions??

Poker Face

2011-01-11T09:36:00.000-06:00

This is the face that i love but it is also the face that i loathe. As of late, it seems to be a common expression. I guess i can't blame him, i would be whiney if i couldn't clearly communicate my every want and need. haha

All my houses

2011-01-02T20:10:00.000-06:00

This year, my favorite Christmas present was the present i gave to myself. I walked in to Williams Sonoma Christmas eve day and bought myself a shiny new espresso machine. It really is a beautiful machine, it's this one here. The really nice sales woman told me how great this machine was, gave me all the info that i ever wanted to know and more and then, then she told me that people like them so much that they buy one for all their houses.
Excuse me?? what did you just say??! oh yes right, all of their houses...of course, how silly of me to not understand, that was the first thought that popped in to my head, obviously i will need to get one for my second home and let's make it on the ocean, as long as we're playing that game...ahhhh hahahaha yeah right!
When she said this to me so matter of factly, i just kept nodding right along with her, it was as if she had just said, "so you see this button here? This is what you press to turn it on"...yes, just as natural as that. I almost made a snide remark about the multiple houses but then i figured it best that she just assume we were people with multiple homes. Never mind that the only reason i am buying this one (yes, only one!) machine is because i received a bit of money for christmas, and even then it really was a bit of a splurge.
But i deserve nice things once in a while, right?

Somebody is 1 year old!

2010-10-19T20:59:00.000-05:00

And that somebody is Jude!

Happy Birthday to my little buddy, oh wait, i guess that is big buddy as of today!

My life has changed for the better because of his smiling face and big blue eyes.

You are loved my little beau, no doubt about that.

Out and about

2010-09-29T20:36:00.000-05:00

Oh fall....i totally love you but sometimes i am not ready to let you hypnotize me with your crackly leaves, then i really must accept that summer is gone and winter is not far off in the distance.

YUM!

2010-09-14T16:19:00.000-05:00

The other day i wanted to see if Jude could eat a banana properly, and by properly i mean one bite at a time. Although i'm not really sure how people normally eat banana's because i have a hatred of them, i think the texture is repulsive. I can eat banana cake however, if you know, you decide you want to bake me one.

I guess i should not have been shocked when i handed him half a banana and he shoveled the whole thing in his mouth.
Dude! Slow down, we have more now that we gave our monkey back to the zoo.

I must say it is nice to have someone eating with such gusto and enthusiasm. And, i also have a breakfast, lunch and dinner eating companion. It gets lonely eating by yourself all the time and usually the husband is tired when we sit down to dinner, so conversation is sparce at times. Although, he does seem to have enough focus to read magazines and the paper while we are eating...hmmmm maybe we should just start reading articles out loud in place of real conversation. Doesn't that sound fun Jude??!

I am very hopeful however, that through slow and steady mind manipulation he will be my little culinarian and then proceed to talk about food with me all day long, oh and then we will talk about the food we made while we consume our delicious feast.
We will go to the cheese shop and taste all the delicious imported cheese, he will then ask me if we should get some quince jam to go along with the Mancego we just purchased. I will of course say, absolutely, yes! Then off to the bakery to buy our bread for the day and finally to Whole foods because he will like looking at the rainbow of color in the produce section. Ahhhh, i can see it now.....

Hey, a girl can dream, right?

black and white weekend

2010-09-05T20:57:00.000-05:00

I love black and white photographs. Maybe because i'm used to seeing everything in color. I guess i just like the elegance and simplicity they seem to portray.
Cheers to an elegant and simple labor day!

Oh, Beau

2010-08-26T07:21:00.000-05:00

Hello, world. My name is Jude and it's a good thing i am so unbelievably cute. My mommy is trying to stop breastfeeding me but i have other plans. As long as i can continue to wake up multiple times at night and refuse to go back to sleep until I get what i want, well, i've pretty much got it made.
Yes, mother, i will forever be attached to you...whether you like it or not.

Yellow gloves

2010-08-24T21:38:00.000-05:00

Tonight i was wandering about amongst the aisles at Target (yes that's right, wandering, i had no child with me, i am allowed to wander aimlessly) when in the middle of the cracker aisle i see them.

Yellow gloves!!! You know, the kind people use when they are really serious about cleaning. Gloves that i have never owned because, well, when have i ever been really serious about cleaning?? Waste of money in my opinion....
These were not yellow gloves in a package but yellow gloves being worn by a woman who looked like maybe she shouldn't yet have been released from the institution. She was examining a box of Keebler cookies as i passed by, and i was trying not to stare at the blazing brightness of her yellow rubber hands while i tried to figure out what exactly was going on.
I know, i know....i'm so mean and just so quick to put people who are concerned with germs in to the loony category. But, come on! Isn't that why they make hand sanitizer??? I guess i should be one to talk and she should probably be afraid to touch anything that i touched seeing my child has hand, foot and mouth disease.
Don't worry though, lady, at least i didn't bring him and his infected saliva with me.

What's for dinner??!

2010-07-24T14:17:00.001-05:00

Today i want to talk about food. And what else can there possibly be to say about food, you ask?
I know, i know, people write books about food, they blog on and on about the best way to cook risotto or truss a chicken; numerous articles and essays are written on chopping, prepping, baking and eating. What is there left to say???!!!

Oh plenty, plenty my friends.....pull up a seat, munch on something sweet and read on.

I seem to perpetually be in a food dilemma. I find myself constantly (and consistently) conflicted between eating in and eating out. I love going to the the grocery, farmer's market and specialty food stores. Aisles upon Aisles of delicious possibility. Every product in a neat row, labels aligned and promising flavor nirvana to those who choose to partake. Fancy condiments and jams galore, exquisite pasta from Italy, fresh farm asparagus so green you start to wonder where the murky green asparagus comes from that you are forced to buy in the dead of winter. It's just too much for one food loving person to take! When i really start to ponder exactly how many food options exist, i freeze, mid aisle. My feet don't move, my eyes glass over, i hear a voice "can i help you miss?" When i realize i have just been staring blankly at a box of preservative packed snack cakes for the last five minutes, i know it's time to go. Who actually buys this stuff anyway?? Or more accurately, who actually thinks it's a good idea to concoct and feed this stuff to our children??
Clearly somebody or the product wouldn't be staring back at me in prime eye level location. Just another evil marketing ploy...but not this time delicious yet horribly bad for you snack cake...not this time!!

All of these products and ingredients can be enough to make anyone crazy excited to throw them together and ta da...you have a meal, or something resembling a meal. What constitutes a meal anyway? I'll leave that for open interpretation.....

As you can see i have a passion for buying food, and occasionally actually doing something with the stuff i do buy, but more often than not i don't feel like cooking. This could be due to just pure laziness on my part, but what is really lurking in the back of my mind is knowing that there exists so many delicious options for food where all you have to do is decide, pay and eat. Whether it be in restaurants, deli counters or food carts; food that tastes amazing and results in basically no dirty dishes is absolutely fantastic in my book.
One day i feel like eating pad thai with shrimp, ok, i can eat it without buying a bazillion ingredients and turning my kitchen inside out, then being left with an awkward half lemongrass stalk and a full bottle of fish sauce. Actually i did attempt pad thai...definitely the first and last attempt, unless i want sub-par dry rice noodles with no flavor again. Some things are better off left to those who know what they're doing and who do it everyday.
A lot of cooking shows now like to do segments on 30 minute meals, especially one's where they re-invent take out. First of all, they don't take in to consideration the shopping time it takes to get the ingredients or how long it takes to prep and store the ingredients after bringing them home. After all is said and done, at least an hour has gone by and your starving husband has asked you three times in the last 10 minutes when dinner will be ready. Sorry, the recipe never mentioned how long it takes to get everything ready needed to cook the actual food! I say if it was originally meant for take out, leave it to the people who do it best, the restaurant.

It's a tough and a pretty consistent dilemma of what to eat. Usually it's an enjoyable process for me, but in the end you have to just listen to your stomach. Consider the effort you want to put forth and either go to the grocery store armed with a plan or pick up the phone and tell that person on the other side that you soooo need some spicy yellow curry or your day won't be complete. I'm sure they'll understand, they are there to fulfill your food cravings morning, noon and night. And rest assured they won't judge you, even if you do order the same thing for a week straight. It's ok if you just really couldn't be bothered to pick up a frying pan. No judgement, even if you did just pay a hundred bucks for that sparkly stainless steel one at the gourmet cooking ware store. It will get used eventually and until then, it will at least look nice as part of your kitchen decor!

Wonderful weekend

2010-07-04T18:56:00.000-05:00

The weekends go by so fast, but by the time it's Monday you realize that you've probably packed in a weeks worth of activities in those two days. It's kind of like when you get back from a vacation, you need a vacation from that vacation...a recovery period of sort.
Even though i don't technically have to go to work on Monday, Saturday and Sunday still have the feel of being the two days that are meant for fun carefree activities.
This last weekend was a perfect example of that. Shopping for fresh food in the sun, a refreshing cherry vodka lemonade by the pool (a kiddie pool mind you) but a pool none the less and beers with limes and a movie with friends. All in all, enough to leave one semi relaxed and looking forward to the next weekend.

And then i was stuck

2010-06-25T10:25:00.000-05:00

The other day i found myself in one of those chain super sports stores. You know, the one's with golf clubs, kayaks, clothing, baseballs, weights and....candy,yes candy. I'm not exactly sure why bright colored sugar chews are being sold along side thigh masters and ab machines, but whatever sells, right?? This is America after all, actually i'm surprised they don't sell beer. They would probably claim that it fits in with the camping supplies.
Anyway, i was not there to buy gummies, i was there to buy a tennis racket.Although, now that i mention it...ahhh no. Last week, in the middle of practice, i hit a forehand and bing! Yup, there go my strings. The logical thing, in this situation, would be to just get it re-strung but i forgot about it and then it was the day before i had a match. Thanks to my stellar procrastination abilities, my only option was to buy a new one. After much debate and trying to mimic a tennis match to the best of my ability in the store, with a racket that is covered in plastic, i finally chose a bright orange head racket. You didn't think i was going to leave after this, now did you? Silly, i still have to look around. In hindsight, i should have just bolted to the door while throwing my cash at the salesperson. No need to stop and pay, just GO!!! Although,it would have looked a tad clumsy, since i was pushing a stroller and all. So no, i did not leave immediately. Instead i meandered about the clothing section, picking up some random t-shirts, a pair of athletic pants and then i spotted a sports bra i kinda liked. I figured that since Jude was behaving himself, i might as well try this stuff on...fifteen minutes and i'll be outta here. HA!
I put the t-shirt on..."mmmm, yes, very nice if i do say so myself. Ok, i will buy it!" Next i put the pants on. "Awesome, thes are totally cool! Slightly 80's, but cool none the less. I think i will buy them!" Alright, i guess i will try on the sports bra. "Hmmmm...what is going on with this...seems a bit...tight for a medium. Oh shit...WTF...i think it's stuck. No, no...it can't be stuck. There must be some way to loosen it. Ahh, damn...stupid thing is stuck...GOD! What is with this thing!? Ow..i think i pulled a muscle. Yep, definitely stuck." I seriously felt like that kid from "A Christmas Story" who gets his tongue stuck on the pole. Stuck....stuck..stuck!!!
So this pretty much went on for the next twenty minutes. I attempted to rip it off, i tried sliding it off, i tried pulling my arms through the straps another way, but nothing. This thing was not budging. So i stood there thinking for a second about my options. If i had a scissors i would have cut it off but no such luck.
I put my shirt on over the bra, and tried to decide how i was going to approach the sales people. I actually wanted to still look around but i thought it was best that they didn't see me walking though the store with a security tag hanging out the top of my shirt. That would have just topped this whole fiasco, getting arrested for attempted shoplifting when actually the article of clothing was plastered on to me. They could demand i take off the bra, but, haha jokes on you because it's not coming off!!
So i approach the sales girl and told her that this thing is definitely not coming off. She proceeded to call over another sales girl who then decided this was a good time to tell me that this had never happened before. Hooray...i'm the first!Thank you for that. Oh and then she called over yet another person.... i believe a manager this time. Good, so now the whole store thinks i'm a freako.
In the end, they made me pay for it. Clearly i would be returning it because there was no way i would put something on again that doesn't come off!
When my husband came home that night, i told him he needed to help me take it off. I think he thought that maybe i was playing some type of fun sexy game...oohh yes, come help me take it off baby! haha...no, this was serious business that needed tending to. Good thing my husband was there or i could have been stuck forever!
I guess that is what husbands are for...to help you un-stick when you are stuck, even if they do look at you like you are a complete loon.

A summer haze

2010-06-23T22:05:00.000-05:00

Post storm...the sun is just setting behind large thunder clouds. The yellow haze it creates is amazing. It lasts for just a few minutes but very wild, none the less.

A fly of a different fruit

2010-06-20T21:01:00.000-05:00

About a month ago, i bought my husband a giant plastic bin that you are supposed to place in the yard and pile in dirt along with old food scraps. People like to call this a composter. I guess the idea being that instead of throwing your vegetable scraps, coffee grinds and egg shells in just the plain old garbage, taking up precious landfill space, you put them instead in this big enclosed hideous plastic structure and they gradually break down making delicious soil for your garden or yard or whatever. I'm not very clear on the details, i leave that to the person who gardens and that person is not me. I made a go at it once and let's just say that my planting style, ie. "just toss the seeds out the window and on to the soil, they should make their way in to the dirt eventually, same thing as planting just less, well, dirt on my hands." Not too fruitful but i gave an effort.
To go along with this large plastic rotting food bin, you have to buy a separate mini rotting food bin to keep in the kitchen to keep the food bits before you transfer it to the larger bin. Ok fine, might as well add it to the cart...as long as this stuff doesn't smell up my kitchen i will be fine with it. Oh nice, inserts that prevent the smell. But, alas, there is something worse than the smell of rotting vegetable peelings in your kitchen....FRUIT FLIES!!! Where is the anti-fruit fly insert?
These nasty red eyed, pin prick sized bugs have become the bane of my existence as of late. I poured a glass of wine the other day, left it sitting on the counter, went in the other room, came back and there were those big eyes floating lifelessly in my glass. Fruit fly infused wine is not my idea of delicious. It's like all of a sudden a banana goes slightly south of ripe and TA DA..a whole family of flies has taken up residence in my kitchen. Of course it doesn't take long for one fly to turn in to many. Inner family breeding seems to be accepted among this clan. Why, also are there only fruit flies, no vegetable flies or ho ho flies?? Clearly this is a health conscious bunch. Healthy or not, they are not invited for left-overs in my kitchen. I really want to do right by the environment, i recycle my cans, cardboard and plastic. It should just be natural to recycle food. Well, i am finding it to be a major annoyance when every time i go to open up the bin, a cloud of buggyness arises from the rotting contents inside..mmmm tasty. So until i figure out a method of preventing these flies from multiplying and dining on my scraps, my rotting food bucket will stay outside. This totally defeats the whole convenience of it all, but this is the best alternative i can think of.

Own your meat

2010-06-17T14:22:00.000-05:00

Mission: To eat meatless until the first of July. Forecast for the mission: Partly cloudy with a chance of meatballs or partly sunny with a chance of soy faux meatless balls. Wait, hold on! Abort, abort!!! Sizzling, juicy, meaty sausages with fried onions ahead! Alcohol has entered in to the equation...clouded judgment and irresistible smells attacking from all directions! We're going down, helllllllllppp!

So, what was that...four days? I'm sorry, i couldn't help myself. As much as i like vegetables, i need them served with a side of animal flesh. Surprisingly though, i don't feel guilty. I actually feel back to being balanced and isn't that what your life is supposed to be? Everything in moderation. Really, i blame the twins game.... chicken, beef and pork galore. You don't see people sitting around munching on carrot sticks and having green juice while watching sweaty guys in striped uniforms swing their big bats at tiny balls. Exactly, you see people drinking beer and eating processed meat products stuffed in a tube on a bun. Sorry, but my tube full of meat with sauerkraut on top tasted pretty spectacular. Say what you will..i have no willpower, easily influenced blah blah blah. Honestly i don't really care because this is my life and i prefer to have a good time with no restrictions.
Is there a lesson learned here? Yes, don't deny me my food pleasures unless you want to see a side of me that comes out full force when my options are limited. This is America after all. As Oprah would say "Own your life, own your choices." So that is what i choose to do...wait, was that Oprah, well if it wasn't..let me know.

A clouded experiment

2010-06-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

The other night the husband and I went out to celebrate our two year anniversary...yes, i have been legally committed to the same person for two years, you can now pick your jaws up off the floor.
Anyway, we got a babysitter that cost too much money so we could go have a few drinks and then be sandwiched in between sweaty people to listen to a band that while good, made my ears feel like they had been invaded by tiny people obsessively ringing bells over and over...and over. I have now entered adult hood. I am annoyed by loud music, strangers inadvertently touching me and invading my space and while i am supposed to be having fun i find myself wanting to be under my comforter getting cozy with my bed. Oh and for the better part of the night i was psychotically worried that the Jude baby was suffocating in his crib while the babysitter sat texting on her phone. Just for the record, our babysitter is very responsible and i was texting her, so maybe i'm contributing to the problem. Hooray for going out! Ok so i don't sound like a total downer, the husband and I had nice conversation over our beers but i think that i may have been a bit tipsy because we made a pact, or challenge or something to that effect. We decided that we are giving up meat for the remainder of June. Alcohol is a dangerous, dangerous drug people! Do not commit to any important life altering decisions while using. I love meat...i don't know what i was thinking!! I guess it's for only two weeks and it's not like we ate tons before so, hopefully i won't go too crazy. Although something happens in my brain the minute i tell myself i can't have something. I immediately want to rebel. I start thinking "what, no meat...forget that...i can eat whatever i want whenever i want. Now, who wants some double cheeseburgers?"
I do think Americans consume an overabundance of meat and most of it produced without regard to health or fairness to the animal. That being said, i am excited to take on this challenge, despite it's short length. Who knows, maybe it will be the beginning to something amazing!

Rhino Pants

2010-06-03T19:17:00.001-05:00

This is what 7 and a half months looks like....

A review

2010-04-30T21:23:00.001-05:00

Is it bad that for entertainment on a Friday night, i read my own old blog posts and then proceed to laugh out loud while reading them??
A long time has gone by since i have posted....i will be better...i promise.
Jude is now 6 months...wow..but hooray, summer is almost here!

He's a .....HEARTBREAKER!

2010-03-15T19:27:00.001-05:00

Even his foot is cute...come on now...admit it. I can see why he wants to put his foot in his mouth..i will try my hardest not to put it in my mouth. Those toes are just too irresistible though.

Well rounded

2010-03-04T22:29:00.000-06:00

I love drinking wine... in a restauran wt....hile eating delicious food with delicious company.
This is exactly what i did tonight.
The taste of red wine when it is that perfect temperature, warming your mouth slightly, and it just slides right down, leaving behind a perfect spiciness and voluptuousness making you want to just make that moment last for ages. Yes, this was my night and it went all too quickly.
The food was great, but for some reason the wine was just, well, perfect. I could have sat there drinking it for ages. I'm sure it helped that i ate many bruschetta topped with everything from Tapenade, to spicy white beans and luxurious artichoke and tuna. Then a salad of candied walnuts, creamy blue cheese and earthy yet spicy red, red beets. If this sounds too good to be true well let me tell you about the main course....a spicy tomato fusilli with pancetta and tiger shrimp. Mmmmmm, yeah, i know. Really there is no need to say more except that we had the tiramisu. Maybe the caffeine in that has allowed me to type this because all that wine surely, well probably, most definitely didn't help. A fuzzy head and a full stomach tells me that this night was an excellent night out with the hubby. Excellent, excellent, yes, and did i mention excellent.

1,2,3,4......can i have a little... wait, A LOT, more?!

2010-02-23T09:55:00.000-06:00

Sometimes i feel like i expect too much out of life; that I am too demanding of my needs and wants. I suppose it's all perspective....

Then i feel it is MY life and how else can you be, really?!
Learning to really be yourself, truly yourself takes time. Honestly i don't think i'm there yet. I'd like to say that i have come in to my own, but i know i have a little ways to go. That being said i know what i like, and what i want. Sometimes it's easier to express that, sometimes i feel more comfortable with being me.
Even when you become a mother there are pressures coming at you from all angles to be this kind of mother or that kind of mother...how about i just be the kind of mother that i want to be. No preconceived notions, just the best that i can be. I think that is just the best that i can be in all situations essentially.
When i find myself craving more, it doesn't matter what, more free time, more alone time, more time with my friends, more time with my husband, just MORE, i start to compare my life with others. Is this what everyone else wants? Or is this just.....me.
I do think my expectations out of life are slightly elevated, i want what i want, i just can't help that and i definitely will not apologize for it. Than there is the guilt, but is the guilt necessary? No, probably not. Then why do so many people feel guilt?
Oh just be happy with what you have, is what people will tell you. That's all fine and everything but what if you want more? Should i be made to feel guilty if what i have is good but maybe not quite good enough? What is good enough anyway? Uhhh it's enough to drive the most person insane..and really there is no one that is sane enough. THat's right, we're all insane. To a certain extent.....
When you are truly living, yes, you are living in the moment but there is always a hunger, just a little but of a rumbling for more. If that is missing then what are you striving for? Life is filled with routine, fine....yes accept that, but there is so much else that your life can be.
I guess i just want to ask the question when is a little too little and a lot just too much?
The line is fine and where to draw it is anybody's guess....

Four fabulous months

2010-02-19T18:53:00.001-06:00

Happy four months, Jude boy!
xoxo
Mommy

The un-necessary evil

2010-02-17T19:00:00.000-06:00

I have read lots of birth stories since Jude was born and even before he was born i had read my fair share. Most of them scared me to death but having now been through it, i can no longer sit and read them as an innocent reader. Still curious, yes but scared, no. I know every birth is different and i respect every woman and the way in which she chooses to bring life in to this world, but i do not appreciate how many stories make hospitals out to be these evil, white walled sterile spaces that do not wish to abide by your wishes. I, for one, had a great hospital experience. I really had no idea what to expect. I am really pleased (looking back) that i went in to labor so early, that i didn't sit around anticipating when the dreaded contractions would occur.
There are certain things called protocols that hospitals have to follow in order to ensure that everyone is getting the necessary treatment. The machines that they use, the medicines that they dose and the "white coats" that they wear are all standard and designed with a purpose in mind. From the moment i walked in to the labor and delivery area ready to be checked in, i had nothing but the best care. Professional, yet personable, knowledgeable yet down to earth, all the staff was on top of everything. Not once did i have a doubt in my mind about how i was being cared for. This little baby boy that was coming in to this world 4 weeks ahead of time was going to be in the best hands possible. Of course there is worry and anticipation but most of my worry was alleviated because of the care that i received. I just wish that more people would embrace the fine and intricate dance that is the hospital birth process. It's not all bad, especially because you end up with a very well cared for mother and baby.

Crisis!

2010-02-16T10:03:00.000-06:00

Help! I am having a hair crisis people! Ever since cutting my hair and not really getting a cut i love, i have felt very unsatisfied. I see photo's of all these celebrity hair styles and want to try them all!
Some days i want to cut my hair all off and have it crazy short but then other days i want my long flowing locks back. This photograph has been my inspiration as of late. I have turned in to a hair schizophrenic! Actually i have been very indecisive about quite a few things lately...i'll blame the weather. I'm being couped up indoors, being left alone with just my thoughts and a small child can sometimes be a very dangerous combination. Or is it being left alone with a bottle of tequila, some salt and limes that is the dangerous combo? Well if you go to the store and there is a shortage of limes, you'll know it's the latter.

The everyday

2010-02-10T14:29:00.000-06:00

This is my everyday...i enjoy it most of the time. I don't report to anyone but myself. In a way, Jude is my boss...my day is dictated according to his mood and his needs. I guess that is not un-like any (adult) boss! Mine doesn't wear a suit though and hopefully your boss doesn't get their meals from your boobs. Might want to take that up with HR if that's the case....

Involuntarily volunteering

2010-02-04T21:56:00.000-06:00

When you find out you're going to have a baby, the first thing you do is take another pregnancy test because clearly that one was no good. After you spend another twenty dollars to find out the same thing you already knew, you begin to envision your life with a baby. You think about all the walks you will take together, the fun shopping excursions, visits to the zoo and visits with the grandparents. What you don't think about is how you will spend the other vast majority of your days. All those other things, they take up, like two hours of your time, the other 5 bazillion hours are free to do, haha well not free exactly, but they are hours that need to be filled. Let me tell you exactly what they are filled with, especially if it's 10 degrees and snowing out. First, feedings...the child needs to eat right?? Then there is the diaper changing, the changing from the pajamas in to a new outfit, then changing that outfit after it has either been soaked by the mass quantities of drool or mass quantities of other not so nice substances from the other end. When the child is finally presentable the entertainment can now begin. Oh yes and you must have many tricks up your sleeve because right now the most entertaining thing to them is....their own fists. Hmmmmm...feeling bored, stick your fist in your mouth...problem solved. Unless you have forgotten that you have hands...oh wait there they are, haha surprise there they are AGAIN the most interesting thing in the whole world. Don't forget the loud sucking noises that must accompany the discovery of the fist in the mouth entertainment. Oh wait, bored of this, what's next? How about a bright colored object to dangle in front of them. A couple of smiles and then, oh wait, nope let's walk around the house for a bit instead. You're feeling tired?? No, impossible, this child is definitely not ready for a nap. Are you ready to find out what happens next????! Well just put the above on repeat and there you have your life for at least the first 6 months, possibly longer or at least until summer arrives.
I used to think i had a problem doing monotonous work but i do essentially the same thing everyday (still better than sitting in a cubicle). Sometimes i read "The big red Barn" instead of "Baa baa, la la la"..... i know, it's wild. This is the day to day life of living with someone who is completely dependent on you. You do their laundry, you change their clothes and give them a bath. You are in charge of their entertainment and are responsible for their food and your food. Just when you think that the responsibilities will never end, they seem to just start all over again. I think that if people really could anticipate and prepare for this, they wouldn't want to do it. It's challenging and grueling, predictable yet unpredictable, exhaustive and humbling. Some days i just want quiet and to pull the covers back over my head. I knew what i was giving up the moment i saw that double pink line appear on that over-priced piece of plastic. I could imagine what the life that lay ahead of me was going to be like, but what i couldn't ever imagine, EVER, EVER, was the feeling that i would get every time his big blue eyes would look in to mine,that i was who he was recognizing as his mother. I am now one of those people shedding tears at random tv shows and commercials with children, i was always immune from this stuff! It really is amazing that people voluntarily sign up for this lifestyle..seriously now, are you people all on crack??!! Yes, yes..it does seem to appear that way...carry on then.

A snowy start

2010-02-03T21:31:00.001-06:00

I am sick of winter. There. I said it. Even so, it was still somewhat lovely when i went out for a quick jaunt in the snow with the pug. Emma loves the snow and her face always ends up looking like she just ate a large box of powder sugar donuts. Hmmm come to think of it, i wish i had a big box of sugar covered donuts RIGHT THIS SECOND. I spent the last few days with some strange stomach issue.... i think i may have lost a few pounds. No time like the present then to gain them right back!

New hair (same baby)

2010-01-29T09:24:00.000-06:00

The other night i finally decided to do it...get my hair cut, that is. I had been thinking about it on and off for the last month or so and because i have an extreme paranoia of the stylist butchering my hair, i waited way too long. I finally got to the point that anything would look better that what was currently going on with the scariness that i was pulling back in to a ponytail everyday.
So, i called up my go to salon and of course my usual stylist had gone somewhere else. Go figure, i find someone good and then she leaves me. Since i was in desperate mode at that point, i went with who the girl on the phone recommended. Note to self....do not get so desperate that you will let anyone with scissors who claims to be a "stylist" within 50 ft of your hair. You probably will regret it..just saying.
Anyway, i get to the salon and meet my "stylist"...a slightly peppy looking highlighted, wide eyed 30 something ..hmmm ok...whatever. I give her very specific instructions as to how i want my hair cut. Usually i let the sylist dictate because i really have no idea what would look good but this time i was very pleased with myself for knowing exactly what i wanted. I told her and angled bob, shorter in the back with a very definite angle toward the front. So she was cutting away and everything seemed to be going fine and then she started to blow dry my hair. Hmmm, seems a little soon...she'd only been cutting for like 10 mins. She reassured me she would be "touching things up" after my hair was dry.
And then before i knew what had happened she was like "ok, how does that look?" Wait, what??? Where is the angle? Does the back look shorter, um not quite..looks the same as the front. Apparently her definition of an "angle" is different than mine, because this was more like a slight slant. I guess i should have brought my protractor and given her a specific angle measurement, maybe 47.5 degree angle would have been clearer.
After wrinkling my nose and staring at the mirror for a second i informed her that i needed more of an angle, oh and shorter in the BACK! Like i had said before. I thought that we were clear on that....well after more cutting away i guess we weren't. FINALLY, after the fourth redo i was looking alright. I knew if i kept asking her to fix it i would end up with no hair so i decided to cut my losses and just figured it would grow out and then i could have it fixed.
As you can see by the picture, Jude is not too happy by my change in hair. I think he's over it now though. He probably figured best not to protest the person who gives him nourishment

What i now, know for sure

2010-01-25T20:51:00.001-06:00

Sorry Oprah, i don't want to steal your thunder but i now know for sure that i have found the most perfect dessert. This is what i want to take with me on long journeys, i would save this in the event of a fire and this is also what i want to curl up next to when i go to bed at night (sorry husband o'mine)but you better make room for the smoothness and creaminess that is this pudding. I think right in between our pillows will be perfect.
My quest for pudding deliciousness started late last week. "I am going to make a delicious pudding" i said, so that is what i set out to do. So i gathered my ingredients, eggs, sugar, chocolate, cream and vanilla. I followed the recipe and i made sure that the little puddings were tucked snugly in their water bath. Something happened, in the end, the little puddings got too hot and so i ended up with coagulated chocolate eggness. They tasted alright but were downright unpleasant to look at. At this point i was annoyed with the water bath method, too much work so i made my second attempt and went sans egg yolks and tried the traditional cornstarch recipe. Oh and this time i was going to attempt butterscotch. Well, this recipe didn't even make it to pudding form. The liquid didn't even touch the cute little ramekins who were eagerly waiting to hold tight their soon to be pudding heaven. No, this recipe failed from the beginning. The hot sugar liquid, scorching the innocent fat globules of the cream, made the whole recipe doomed from the start. Eh, another failure. I will not let the pudding win, i must conquer what is supposed to be a simple little down home dessert. Finally, finally....i have won! The puddings i made today (water bath..oh yes!) were small pots of delightfully sinful chocolate creaminess. I took one bite and i knew that these were well worth the wait. I finished my little ramekin, i obsessed to myself about how good that was and then i had another one. I even left the whipped cream off the second, just so i could savor the pure flavor and texture that this pudding proudly became. I mentioned to the hubby that these are the best ever! He proceeded to tell me that he was waiting until he was hungry to have one. WHAT???? EXCUSE ME??! When there is dessert present that makes your eye balls roll back in your head, YOU EAT IT! No questions asked. Also, i would like to know who is ever actually hungry for dessert in the first place? You don't eat dessert because you're hungry, you eat it because it is delicious and it's there waiting for you to indulge. Anyway, there really are no words to describe the party that was in my mouth tonight..well other than the one's that i have already typed here, so i guess what i mean to say is that there are no other words. Besides, i can't be bothered to type more, i must go to bed and dream about the other pudding that will be waiting for me when i wake up. Oh and most likely the husband's also....don't expect me to wait around until your stomach starts rumbling. Not for this dessert, no siree!

And then you melt

2010-01-25T16:15:00.000-06:00

I just couldn't resist....

A term of endearment?

2010-01-23T11:30:00.000-06:00

Last week i was asked to fill out a form before i had a massage. When i got to the Employment section i had to stop and think...hmmm what to put? Actually i was really thinking about how this question would affect my massage. Do doctors and lawyers get treated differently than bartenders or exotic dancers..maybe i should try this experiment. Why yes, i work the pole for a living, and you? Yeah, that's right, i got special massage, if you know what i mean. Anyway, i quickly ran through the choices in my head, N/A, Stay at home mom, housewife...definitely NO...so i decided on LOL. Apparently i couldn't just leave it blank, the logical decision.
LOL does not mean Laugh Out Loud, although i would have laughed out loud if i would have read my form. LOL stands for Lady of Leisure. I had thought of this term for myself while i was pregnant because clearly i didn't have enough other things to think about while carrying a human being inside of me. Actually it was at about my 30 week OB/GYN appointment when my doctor asked me if i was working. I said no and she proceeded to tell me i was a lady of leisure...awesome..my doctor is awesome! She clearly understands my line of thinking..and being. Granted i don't lay around all day by the pool eating truffles, my life is pretty good. Yes taking care of a small demanding child is at times constant and tireless, i shouldn't go as far as call it a job. Sitting in a cubicle, answering email all day, while pretending to be engaged is a job. Uh, i would gladly wipe up half digested milk that has been regurgitated in to my hair than do a cost/benefits analysis of some over priced wonder drug any day. Excel is the devil and i refuse to believe, that even if i learned how to properly and efficiently use it, that i would like it. So i will keep my title as lady of leisure. I will wear it proudly, even though my life is not that leisurely, someday again it will be. Until then, i will enjoy the chaos and the unexpected spit up that it brings.

3 months

2010-01-21T19:18:00.000-06:00

Happy 3 months Jude!

You have brought nothing but joy and happiness in to our lives. It's so exciting watching you grow and change. Your smile lights up the room and your big blue eyes just make my heart melt. Keep up the happiness little buddy!

And then there was pain

2010-01-20T22:13:00.000-06:00

After getting all excited last week about the prospect of me joining the same gym as my best friend since fifth grade, i got the three day pass, just to tide me over until we joined for real.
The three day pass is ridiculous if you ask me. If you are getting the three day pass then you probably haven't worked out in a while, so after your first go at actually working out, your body will feel like it is separating itself in several different directions. So really, who actually can go all three days??? WHO i ask you, WHO?????!
Well, I went one of the days and it happened to be to the infamous BODYPUMP class on Saturday. Of course most of the weights that i needed had already been snatched up by evil spandex wearing exercise fiends. Damn you women in tight spandex, give me my 2.5 lb weight! Soooo, i had to do tricep extensions with weights that were just a tad on the heavy side. At the time i was like "pff, i can do this, these aren't THAT heavy" HA, WRONG! Up until this morning i thought something was seriously wrong with my left tricep. I started envisioning months of physical therapy and the prospect that i might never be able to tuck my hair behind my left ear ever again. Ok so that panic lasted all of about five minutes, i'm starting to feel better and thinking about torturing myself all over again this weekend..hooray! Immense pain, here i come! Oh and watch out spandex clad bitches, this time i'm getting my weights!

Yes, it's just like high school

2010-01-17T20:25:00.000-06:00

On and off for oh, the last 10 years of my life, i have belonged to a gym. I used to be obsessed with the idea of going to the gym and working out when i was too young for them to legally allow me to operate the weight machines. One of my friends in second grade belonged to an athletic club with her parents and we used to go there to use the pool. I remember on our way in, i would stare longingly at the weight lifting machines, anticipating the time that i too could do leg presses with all the other spandex clad workout fiends. You had to be 13, so clearly i was a deranged 8 year old, longing to workout. Yeah, i was a freak child, ok!?? Fast forward a few years to high school when i finally got my wish and joined the local gym in town. It was basically a large warehouse space that now had a basketball court, a few weights and a couple of treadmills and precor machines. Ha, yes i know, but in the 90's those were all the rage. After all, i lived in a town that consisted of three kwik trips and a subway, enough said. Zanarchy and I would go there during our free hours, which we had a lot of, learning wasn't high on our priority list back then, working out was. Some of our other concerns were what we ate that day, our wardrobe choices and who we made out with the night before. At one point i actually dated a guy who gave me a gym membership for the cool gym in another city.I then proceeded to break up with him the day after he presented this grand gift to me, so trying not to be such a bitch, i paid him back. I couldn't have waited just a few more days.....actually i couldn't this guy was way too much. He actually bought a car so he could drive me around, oh and he brought me flowers EVERY SINGLE time he saw me....it was a bit excessive. This guy also pierced his ear for me and when we would go out we would order booze, because he looked OLD!! I think he was 18 at the time but apparently he passed for 21, so whatever, good for me, i got to drink margaritas with real tequila!
Anyway, back to the gym obsession....
Moving on to college. I worked out quite a bit, since the gym was included in tuition, somehow i still managed to gain the freshman 15. Funny how that works..i hate to think what it would have been like if i didn't go to the gym, freshman 30...eek!
Towards the end of college i met my husband and we joined a gym together.
Ok, now let me start out saying that he is a very disciplined person. Everything he says he is going to do, he does and that includes going to the gym. Yeah, i know, seriously right?! I on the other hand, not unlike a lot of people, can be helter skleter. I get excited, really excited about something and run head on in to it and then something happens, the excitement wares off. THen i'm done, just done.
So this last year i went to the gym maybe 10 times. I was pregnant so i figure that gives me some leeway. Who wants to face the treadmill when there's a pretty good possibility that the cheerios you ate for breakfast could re-emerge at any moment. Yeah, nobody needs to see that. Recently though I told my husband..."Cancel my membership...i can workout with the baby." Ummm, well not exactly. Yes i tote the baby around but i think i need some variety. So conveniently, Zanarchy belongs to the same gym we are thinking of joining. Yes my poor husband, but really he still gets to workout and i gain a workout partner. Let's face it, men aren't the best workout partners. They put on their headphones and are intensely focused for the duration of their workout. Personally i like to chit chat while getting my heart rate up, well that and bitch about the unbelievable thing my husband said to me the other night. So you can clearly see that i need female companionship while at the gym.
Together i think women can rule the world, or in my case encourage and motivate you to attend the gym regularly.

An understated message

2010-01-15T20:58:00.001-06:00

Peace is what we all hope for.

I am thankful for the peace in my household tonight.
For the sleeping baby that rests peacefully in his crib.
For the food that is in our refrigerator and the water that runs freely from our faucet.
I can go to bed tonight in my house that is heated.
Life can change in an instant. Be thankful for what you have right now, this moment is what matters.
My heart goes out to those who are affected by the earthquake.
I hope that they can experience peace again.

Small pieces that make a whole

2010-01-14T21:06:00.000-06:00

Perfect laziness inducer

2010-01-12T13:40:00.000-06:00

Not that i need an excuse to be lazy but where was this last summer when i needed it most?? Seriously, this company has awesome products. I will also be needing to buy this, oh and perhaps this. Now, how can i justify the purchase of any of these? Early birthday present? Half birthday present, no? Ok, maybe "i will be a better wife and mother if i am given the opportunity to lounge endlessly (in public, no less) on this luxurious and beautiful cushion!" If i lived by the ocean i might be more convincing, well then, time to brainstorm justifications for moving by the sea. Husband, if you are reading this, the lake would be a good consolation prize;) Although really, what's to stop me from setting up my own luxurious setting in the backyard?! Jude can entertain himself right..plenty of sharp objects to keep him occupied until mommy is fully rested.

Better than New Year's Eve

2010-01-08T10:35:00.000-06:00

When you're a new parent all the days and nights blend together. Monday could be Friday and Saturday night could be Tuesday morning, really they all feel the same. Actually i take that back, weekends are WORSE because there is no good tv on. At least i don't think Wendy Williams is on, hmmm maybe i'll have to check in to that.
But, as of late, Jude has been sleeping seven, eight and even nine (NINE!) hours at a time. The other night he woke up at 5 in the morning, after nine (NINE!) hours and i wanted to call everyone i knew. But instead i threw myself a silent party. I did, after all, want him to fall back asleep. So i brushed the confetti out of his hair and wiped the champagne off his chin and put him back in his crib. Then guess what he did??? Slept another three whole hours...amazing!!! With this much time i could take over the world, well at least take a shower. Getting this much sleep is so overwhelming awesome. I really don't know how the rest of the world sleeps this much without wanting to throw a party every morning after waking up. So if you want to know what i'm doing in the morning hours, i'm toasting myself and the baby for being cooperative and giving me back my sanity.

2010!!

2010-01-02T10:07:00.000-06:00

2009 in photos from Kerry Kresl on Vimeo.

This year has gone by incredibly fast, so i felt the need to sum everything up with my photos. I still find it hard to believe that last year at this time Jude wasn't here...he has fit pretty seamlessly in to our lives, it's like he was never not here.
A lot can happen in a year!
Happy 2010!

A new diet fad

2009-11-30T15:00:00.001-06:00

This post may infuriate most but i'm hoping that it may inspire a few also. So i have lost all the weight that i gained during pregnancy...and then some. Granted, i only gained maybe the minimum amount but still people i have lost it all!!! I guess when your diet consists of mint m&m's and a little caffeine, the pounds just melt off! I suppose it could be that small growing person i gave birth to who gets all of his calories from me could have something to do with. Oh and i'm eating some normal food once in a while too.
I have a devised a weight loss formula for you:
M&M's + coffee + carrying small child around because they won't sleep in their bassinet + milking - lounging around doing nothing + forgetting when the last time you ate = every man's dream - the fact that you just HAD A BABY = that image staying in his dreams.
Let me know how it works out! It will be sweeping the nation soon i'm sure. You can thank me later.

Four weeks

2009-11-19T20:53:00.000-06:00

I thought that i should update you on motherhood thus far.....

.....have not slept for longer than 3 hours at a time

.....more laundry has been done in the last month than at any other point in my life..ever

...a life sustaining substance is continually either being sucked from me, drip drip dripping all over my newly washed shirt and pants or spraying across the room and hitting the dog in the ear

....pee has sprayed from a small boy's parts from the changing table across the room and in my shoe, a good 5 feet away

....i bought a flip cam (hooray!) to document my son's critical life moments or just me being ridiculous on a day to day basis (what else?!)

...i am now well aware of all the latest gossip and Hollywood happenings (thank you Wendy Williams!)

....i wouldn't trade my life right now for anything...wait did someone say seaside pool?? Done!

no no...just kidding..maybe..

Getting aquainted with the natives

2009-11-07T18:06:00.000-06:00

The pug seems interested....the baby...not so much. Eventually i'm sure he'll start to wonder who that strange furry creature with the curly tail and funny flat face is doing in his house.
This week we had lovely visits from both sides of the family...i'm especially sad that everyone lives so far away.
I was happy though, to find this!

first week

2009-10-27T14:14:00.000-05:00

"So let it out and let it in, hey jude, begin"
-the beatles

The fun has just begun!

Hey Jude!

2009-10-26T20:28:00.001-05:00

He's here, he's here!! Just a bit early but still eagerly welcomed on our end.
5 lbs 14oz 19.5 inches
We're just so happy he is here and healthy.
We know he'll always be able to take a sad song and make it better......
Welcome Jude!

34 34 34!!

2009-10-07T20:46:00.000-05:00

So i have had not much in terms of creative inspiration lately. I think it's the nearing the end blahs....just waiting for that last nesting surge to kick in. Then i can run around like a crazy person with crazy ideas that will never actually make it out of my head, well maybe out of my mouth but people are used to my ideas flying out left and right, sounding awesome and then.....nothing. Someday, i tell you, these ideas will come to be something! I should really at least try to write a few of these unbelievably great ideas down. I'll put that on my goal list...haha maybe i should start a list of those also. Actually i feel lists are overrated so maybe not.

Rain on my boots

2009-10-01T22:18:00.000-05:00

These are the boots that i will be needing from now on if it keeps raining like it did today. The rain really removes all motivation and makes me want to curl up with a large mug of hot chocolate. So that is exactly what i did on this dreary blustry first day of October.

Is there anybody in there???

2009-09-29T20:22:00.001-05:00

Oh yes, i can assure you there is...and he's 33 weeks today, hooray!

A random sort of day

2009-09-19T21:43:00.000-05:00

Tye-Dye and Red Velvet

2009-09-14T08:46:00.000-05:00

This weekend was spent whipping up a delicious red velvet cupcake with cinnamon cream cheese frosting, tye-dying baby items while catching up with a friend who has known me since before i started shaving my legs. Although to be clear, i started shaving them in the 5th grade....yes everyone was jealous and envious. We have been friends through the awkward adolescent period, sporting outfits that would have gotten us featured in the don't section of glamour magazine, but to us we were being radical and different, we didn't have a care what other people thought of our kick wears and doc martens. We have been friends despite moving to different states, participating in complete dating disasters and managing to live together in the best apartment ever, for two years. Our friendship has even survived my (surprise!) venture in to marriage. I think that it is safe to say that even though a baby changes a lot, it doesn't change the connections that you have formed throughout your past. I do predict a few changes, i suppose that's just life, but if i were to venture a guess, we'll still be walking around the lake discussing the same things that have always kept us the awesome friends that we have become. Here's to another 30 plus awesome years together.....hopefully at that point we'll be lounging by the pool, worrying only about what time we should play tennis and if the water temp is 79 degrees and not a frigid 78.

A day of lounging and baking

2009-09-10T21:15:00.000-05:00

Today i managed to really accomplish nothing. I lay in my bed with my dogs and read this book. Then i proceeded to make delicious donut-like confections bathed in butter then showered with cinnamon and sugar, from the previously mentioned book. Of course i then ate many of these donut morsels and let me tell you, they are delicious. Not like, oh yes they are good, more like, oh my god must eat more immediately good. I must say all in all, a day well spent. I really don't feel an ounce of guilt because soon i will have not even one second of time to meander about and do nothing. This will become one of those days that soon i will long to experience and day dream about obsessively while trying to simultaneously calm a small child and make myself look like a normal functioning human being.

The belly and the pug; wk 30

2009-09-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Tomato

2009-09-03T16:44:00.000-05:00

This is our first tomato from our garden. It looks rather cute and very appealing, but never the less....i don't like tomatoes. I always hope that this is the year, so i try them and am always disappointed. I like tomato products, including my great love for tomato juice but just can't bring myself to appreciate the flavor of the fresh from the vine variety. Maybe i will spontaneously like Bananas and Tomatoes...then again maybe not.

29 weeks

2009-09-01T21:32:00.000-05:00

Where has the summer gone???!! Actually, i love, love, love September, October and November, so really i don't mind that summer is coming to a close. The only thing i dread is having to expose a small child to the bitter cold of the winter. Maybe he'll come early, although i wouldn't blame him if he really didn't want to come out at all.
Currently i'm craving....donuts covered in cinnamon and sugar.
Currently i'm loving.... the Peace Green Stroller tote from Dante Beatrix.
Currently i'm hating.... not being able to sleep for longer than two hours at a time.
Currently i'm thankful.... that i'm married to a very understanding (and handsome) man!

My escape to the west

2009-08-17T19:55:00.000-05:00

Last weekend i was in Tahoe. It was beautiful and i didn't spend nearly enough time there. Some day when we go back i look forward to spending relaxing days floating down the river, kayaking in the lake and sampling some delicious local cuisine.

An ode to the past

2009-08-15T20:44:00.000-05:00

It's funny how photographs can take you back to certain periods in your life that you will always remember fondly and also that you can't believe were so long ago and that inevitably makes you feel old..ha.
Regardless of the old part, good times were definitely had and enjoyed in full during my early 20's before i went through my "oh my god i'm getting older,i'm married so now what?" panic. I think i can safely say that i am through that crisis era. Maybe it comes with age, a lot of nights spent taking advantage of every possible drink special or the realization that your life is no longer just going to be about you. Whatever it is, i'm very happy my quarter life crisis has gotten bored with me and moved on to some other poor unsuspecting soul.... i'm sure my ever supportive husband would say the same.
As much as i look back with great nostalgia, i'm learning to appreciate where i am now because i know that life is never predictable. Besides, hindsight is always 20/20 right?

Dog days of summer

2009-08-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

It is definitely August in Minnesota, the heat and humidity have finally reared their ugly heads. With that though means that deep fried candy bars on a stick are just around the corner at the state fair, hooray! I know, talk about the worst food ever for you, but they are just so unbelievably good...and with being pregnant and all i feel i am entitled.
This weather is too hot for me and is even beginning to be unbearable for the dogs. Only in the evening is when they want to stretch themselves out on the cool grass and do what dogs do best, chew sticks! In only a matter of months we will be wishing for this weather, so i'm done complaining.

26 weeks

2009-08-13T17:47:00.001-05:00

Time is flying and i seem to be getting bigger by the day! I finally bought the bassinet...it's lovely and modern and i probably spent too much money but i love it. I will post a picture when it arrives..i know you are all in suspense! Next it's on to the crib. I have a fabulous revamp idea for it, but i will wait to let you in on my brilliant plan until it is complete. Just a little hint..there will be color!

Pickles!

2009-08-12T19:55:00.001-05:00

Ok so they're not quite pickles yet (nor will they ever be in my house, unless they come from a jar with a brand name from the store). Since i'm not in to canning and pickling and all that...i have to draw the line somewhere....i am trying to figure out what to do with all these cucumbers from our garden. It does give me a small thrill when i eat one knowing that they grew from a seed that we planted (ok, seeds my husband planted) i will at least give him credit for the garden this year. I would like gardening better if you didn't have to weed, it weren't so hot and there weren't so many freaking bugs buzzing your ear off. Oh well, that's why you have children right...to do all the hard labor you don't want to do. I know i did my fair share of back-breaking branch hauling and god awful lawn mowing when i was younger. All those damn pine trees, i got at least several bugs (and pine needles) up the nose while attempting to maneuver around the five million that were on our gigantic lot in the middle of nowhere. Ahh country life, not for me...i feel i'm somewhere between rustic elegance and city chic.

An exit strategy

2009-08-03T10:11:00.000-05:00

In the past couple weeks reality has really started to set in. 14 weeks to go (hopefully less) and this karate kid is going to need an exit strategy. So i have begun to look at my options:
1) Painfully squeeze large head through hole that still does not seem anywhere near big enough to accommodate such a large creature.
2)Be drugged and then sliced open...enough said.
3)Wake up one day and child spontaneously appears

So in reviewing my options, number 3 seems like the obvious choice..unfortunately i have not come across this possibility in any birthing book.
I'll just have to go with the flow and see how everything unfolds.

Happy Birthday Emma Pug!

2009-07-31T18:41:00.001-05:00

Today my little pug bug turns 3! The time has gone so fast. It feels like just the other day that she was just a little pugger chewing on all the furniture. Now she has grown up to be a big pug with quite the personality. Happy Birthday pudger!

Please pass the thesauraus

2009-07-29T21:22:00.000-05:00

I am seriously sick of the word "swoon". Everyone seems to be "swooning" over everything. Maybe if these people swoon long enough, they will pass out, hit their head and suddenly forget that word existed in their vocabulary. I'm not really that evil that i would wish injury on these people, but i believe it has reached a pandemic. Next time you find something that you want to swoon over, just remember a few other descriptive words from your past, such as "awesome", "groovy" or just plain ol' "neato".

Priceless moments

2009-07-28T18:28:00.000-05:00

For the past couple of days i have been suffering from what i believe is called "Pregnancy Brain". It has to do with all those crazy circulating hormones and i suppose they have to wedge themselves in somewhere so a logical place would be in your brain, interrupting all normal thought processes.
Saturday afternoon i was just casually minding my own business in my own house when i get a knock at the door. I hate people coming to my door. My first thought is always "this person will probably murder me" and of course when these murderers come knocking my husband is always MIA. Since i was just lounging on the couch and the dogs were acting like spazoids i had no choice but to answer. I step outside and this guy in athletic shorts is standing in front of me ready to give his pitch. It's these times that i wish they were the save the environment people, at least you feel somewhat comfortable in assuming they are naturally peaceful and well intentioned individuals. This guy was not one of those. His opening line was "are you a vegetarian?" I should have said yes, but because my brain was malfunctioning due to an excess of hormones of course i said no way, me, never! That's when i glanced up and saw his rusted van parked across the street...hmmmm. A normal non-pregnant functioning person would have closed the door right there. So after a couple of half assed attempts to make him go away i gave in a bought practically a whole cow. Of course my normal brain functioning kicked in and i googled this company and realized i had just bought a freakin' cow from a business with questionable practices. Obviously the meat is all government inspected, i'm not that dumb, yet.....and we have eaten some of the meat and seem to still be alive. So if a rusted van pulls up at your door and asks if you are a vegetarian, just say yes!
If the meat episode wasn't enough, this morning i get in my car to go to my dr's appointment and realize half way down the street that i forgot these three bubble wrapped packages i needed to mail. So i reverse, and put the car in neutral while i run inside. You cannot leave a 5 speed car in neutral, especially on a slight incline, i found out. I'm inside trying to wrangle the dogs in the kitchen and grab my packages and out the front window i see my car rolling backwards toward a busy street of incoming traffic...shit! A logical person would have dropped everything and just run out there, but no, i had to grab my stuff first and lock the door before psychotically running across the neighbors yards toward my automatically reversing car. I did manage to successfully enter a moving vehicle with packages in hand and stop the car before any damage was done. I just hope no one saw this whole fiasco out their living room window...the psycho pregnant girl running after her moving car...nice.
All i can say is i hope the research is right and you become SMARTER after you birth a child.

Morning inspiration

2009-07-15T17:20:00.000-05:00

A little deliciousness to start the day!

A little action in the 22nd week

2009-07-14T19:37:00.000-05:00

Baby bump or the after effects of eating more than my fair share of a large supreme pizza? I don't think a pizza would be karate chopping away at my bladder, you never know, that pepperoni packed a pretty mean punch to the mouth.

The imposter

2009-07-14T07:15:00.000-05:00

Today marks my 22nd week of pregnancy (hooray!) and i have felt pretty much like my normal self in the past few weeks. I feel it's well deserved after being stricken with the piggy flu and then the stomach virus that i thought was going to eat my insides and never allow me to digest a normal meal ever again. I do not take for granted feeling healthy, both mentally and physically. Every morning that i wake up, well alive..yes key point here, not wanting to shield myself from the world or feel like vomiting, i rejoice! Serioiusly, i am just really grateful for everything in my life right now. Enjoy this expression of emotion, it doesn't happen very often...
Since finding out a couple of weeks ago that we're having a boy, i now feel that it is legitimate for me to do some shopping. I mean, come on, the clothes are just so small and cute. Although part of me gets a little freaked that something that will fit in to this seemingly small outfit is going to be exiting from my soon to be not so private region. Regardless, i will continue to shop...maybe if i spend enough money the anxiety of being broke will outweigh the anxiety of birthing a child. Highly unlikely but worth a shot....
So the past couple times i have walked in to one of these speciality baby stores I am greeted warmly and then i get the following "are you looking for a gift?" Now, under normal circumstances this would be a legitimate question but when you are shopping for yourself because you are, ahh, pregnant, then it is slightly insulting. If you are pregnant then you are shopping most likely for, surprise, yourself! I don't know, maybe i should wear a more revealing shirt or one of those tacky shirts that has your child's due date on it. Actually i think one of those t's that says "exit here" with the arrow pointing to your crotch would be appropriate, especially when going to a shower thrown by your catholic inlaws. Now that i think about it, that would be hilarious....especially when i drive up in my pro-choice mobile.
I think next time someone asks me if i'm shopping for a gift i will say no and proceed to lift up my shirt. Ha, who's shopping for a gift now insensitive sales lady!

My attempts...... thwarted... yet again

2009-07-11T08:08:00.000-05:00

A brilliant idea came to me a month or so ago that this summer would be a great time to take a class at the University. My reasoning being that if i wanted to go back to school sometime after birthing my husbands kin, that now would be as good as any to get a head start. As it turns out, NEVER is a good time for me to go back to school. The above photo shows what happens after taking organic chemistry five, yes i said FIVE times. The remains are torched, never to be seen again. That was one stubborn book, kinda like the old selfish man with no soul who failed me on three separate occasions, i should have put him in there. I'm not sure but being burned alive is probably about equal to having to study organic chemistry equations, at least a close second on the pain scale. Although sitting in jail for manslaughter is not my idea of a fun vacation so i think i made the better choice, burn the book, not the professor.
So anyway, here i am taking this class and it is not going well. There is nothing preventing me from doing well, except myself. I am supposed to be doing my assignment now, due at 3:30 and here i am writing this! It's like my brain malfunctions and revolts as soon as i specifically sit down to study, it has some issues prior to the sitting down but i figure if i can at least get myself seated then half the work is done.
So this morning i went to Dunn Bros at 7...yes 7am on a Saturday just so i would have no distractions. HA, my brain is a distraction in and of itself. I got my mocha (yes it was caffeinated), my rice krispie bar and took a seat. My first thought was, well i need to have something in my stomach so i will eat first. So i caffeinated myself and munched away on the rice krispie bar that was the size of my head, and read the paper. Ok so not studying yet, i'll at least get my book out of my bag and read through the assignment. Suddenly i have an insane desire to check out the menu of this restaurant i've been wanting to go to...hmmmm maybe we should go there soon, looks good, BBQ chicken flat bread pizza! Ok back to reading the assignment, wait i should open the book to the appropriate chapter, yes nice work. Now the book is open and the assignment has been read and.....nothing...i see a couple and their child walking on the sidewalk out the window, that will be me soon! Why don't we live in this neighborhood with all these nice people walking their children to the co-op? Ahh see this is not working, who's idea was it to take this stupid class?? I continued to sit there in and realize that i am shaking the whole bench that i am sitting on from my fidgeting, i'm surprised people aren't falling to the floor left and right of me, they must be too polite to say anything because even i am annoyed with me. Well, clearly this isn't working. I pack up my things quickly, trying to create the illusion that i have somewhere to be immediately, otherwise why would i be leaving so soon after i got there...how long has it been...ok about an hour, not too horrible i suppose. Alright so finally i arrive home again, 9 am, plenty of time to do the assignment. Ok time for a nap! Obviously i have earned it due to my great accomplishments of rice krispie eating and mocha drinking. Well, i can only go up from here...

A different kind

2009-07-02T16:27:00.000-05:00

My Sleeping, Eating and Drinking habits have become something of a different kind in the past few months due to a soon to be strapping young man taking up residence in my uterus. Yes, i'm growing a penis as we speak, inside...not out, just wanted to be clear on that one.
So I am no longer partaking in delicious hoppy beverages brewed in foreign countries, eating raw animal flesh or sleeping like a porpoise (for those of you who don't know, that means sleeping on your stomach). All in all my life has taken a dramatic turn in to the unfamiliar now that i am seemingly more concerned for the life inside of me, haha as opposed to my own?? Funny how that works....is that what they call the "motherly instinct", or the dreaded nesting?? If it is, it's staring me straight in the face making me do crazy things i have never before believed i would want to do, such as dust the shelves...CRAZY! I still feel dusting is rather frivolous, you wipe the cloth across and the dust just gets transferred somewhere else, YEA more CLEANING, and a waste of time. I just can't imagine what other nonsense this 21 week old being is going to be having me doing in the coming weeks, scrubbing the floors perhaps, eek, please god no, not that! Stay tuned and we shall see.....

A memorable bite

2009-03-25T18:11:00.000-05:00

When you travel, what memories do you bring home with you? Do you remember the famous museum, park or sculpture you visited? When it comes to my memories i usually bring home the memory of taste. Sometimes it is the simplest way to remember a moment.
This croissant was the most delicious croissant that has ever grazed my lips. It's flakiness scattering across the table while i attempted to not eat it as quickly as possible because it was so utterly out of this world! This delicious flaky cloud of butter, ham and cheese comes from Tartine, a wonderful little bakery in San Francisco that is filled with tempting treats. Their mocha's are also so extraordinary that you will ever wonder how you will go back to your local coffee shop and not be disappointed for the rest of your life. A small price to pay for a lifetime of delicious memories...a very small price my friends.

Away...for more than a day!

2009-03-17T17:57:00.001-05:00

I'm headed down to Evanston, IL for my awesome friend Tara's wedding this weekend! Unfortunately i'm not headed there in style driving this vintage bug. It will be a good time nonetheless. See you all next week!

Oh, Mr. Golden Sun

2009-03-14T17:35:00.000-05:00

Do you remember the feeling you had the night before your birthday or Christmas Eve waiting for Santa Claus? I used to lay in my unicorn clad bed barely able to keep my eyes closed, smiling just a little to myself and wondering how i would ever make it through the next eight hours of darkness.
Waiting for Spring is like waiting for Santa Claus, especially if you live in the midwest, where 6 months out of the year the view from your window looks like a snow globe. Right around this time i start to get antsy, i crave sun, i just want to be able to wear my sandals and not have my toes freeze off! A few warm days are bliss but they are only a tease because you know that cold, wind and snow are lurking just around those March corners. The anticipation of being able to walk out of my house and have my pale toes touching the cement is just too great. Oh Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun won't please come out and play!

It's about time

2009-03-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

I was very pleased to read this article from the New York Times the other day. Obviously the sad efforts of politicians past has done nothing to impact or encourage positive nutritional habits of our nation because we're still FAT! I'm hoping that because Michelle Obama is not linked with the food industry, she brings a more everyday American parent of two children view point that more people might be able to relate to. Yes, she has a personal chef but she eats real food and still has to deal with her children having picky eating habits. The most important impact that hopefully will inspire others is her belief in everything in moderation. Isn't moderation really the key in every aspect of life? Think about it.....

*photo credit New York Times

What's a guilty food lover to do?

2009-03-06T14:04:00.000-06:00

I love food. It's as simple as that. I think about what i will be eating for my next meal even before i'm finished with the one i'm currently devouring. I talk about food, i think about food, i drool over pictures of food and most importantly i eat a lot of food.
I have always had a fascination and appreciation for food thanks to my family growing up. My mother was never a gourmet cook, slaving over the stove to cook us coq au vin every night or anything, but she was a better than average consistent cook. I do remember eating a lot of corn niblets and canned green beans, but most other dishes were edible. What i remember even more so than my mother's cooking is my grandmother's (Gaca) cooking. She was always in the kitchen, either at the stove or washing dishes. There was a pot rack that hung over the sink. It sat above the window, that looked out on to their patio where the yellow checkered deck furniture sat waiting for a nice day to be used, i was always very fond of that furniture. The pot rack was always my favorite though, it gave the kitchen a broken in cozy feel. Like it was saying "come on in and cook with us" and that is exactly how i felt in my grandparents house. Now, I didn't actually cook, but i definitely ate. I ate creamed chip beef on toast, hot dogs (with ketchup from a special dispenser, sooo cool), macaroni and cheese, beef tenderloin and Papa's ribs from the grill. He cooked everything from the grill, they both knew their place when it came to cooking and both did very well in their respected areas. I loved these meals cooked at home but what i loved even more were meals that were cooked somewhere else, like a restaurant! Restaurant's were exciting places, you could choose your dinner yourself. We would go to the country club to have a steak, or get seafood take out and eat the most giant fried shrimp. We'd carry out Chinese food from this restaurant that to this day i haven't found a substitute for. We would eat moo shu pork, governor's beef and cashew chicken to our heart's content. It was all very exciting.
If you were to ask me now, this second, whether i prefer eating at home or eating out, i would be hard pressed to give you an answer because i struggle with feelings of guilt that surround both choices. I like cooking and experimenting in the kitchen, but food tastes exponentially better when someone else prepares it for you. You get a nice meal and you don't think about how it took an hour to peel the brussell sprouts that just took two seconds to ingest. Yes, the people on TV make it look like a breeze, well let me just say that there is no such thing as a gourmet 30 minute meal (sorry Rachael Ray). So, since my husband does not cook, i am left with very few options when i don't have dinner planned. In today's world people are spending less and trying to cook at home with increasing consistency, which i think is great, but i don't think that i should have to explain myself when i want to get food from outside my house. I believe in supporting local businesses and if we don't go out, these businesses will fail. According to my husband, you should only be eating out twice a week, at "actual" restaurants, apparently this does not include sandwich shops etc. I personally don't see the difference, the small stuff adds up and i would rather be supporting the local independent restaurant that uses local food, than give my five dollars to the national chain next door. So what is a food lover to do during these difficult times? There is just so much good food that needs to be eaten and there are only so many hours in a day. How do you deal with this quandary or is it just me? Please let me know that i am not the only one that carries the weight of the food world on my shoulders.

What are your secret food habits?

2009-03-03T19:54:00.000-06:00

You know you do it. You eat differently by yourself than with someone else. So, my question to you is, what do you eat when you are all alone??
Do you eat peanut butter out of the jar with your finger? Or do you eat a bowl of cereal for dinner followed by some beers and pickles straight from the jar?
Whatever it is, it's fun to eat random sometimes!
Sometimes i'll make cookie dough and eat enough dough that i don't even want to eat any of the baked cookies, but i still have to try one (just to make sure they are edible after all). Although i love to eat real meals, it's nice not to plan and just eat whatever catches your eye from the pantry, fridge or freezer. Oh and one of my all time favorite weird combos... m&m's and tomato juice. Try it, salty and sweet always is tough to beat!

My favorite accessory

2009-03-03T09:16:00.001-06:00

Think about when you were a kid, what were some of your favorite things? You probably had special jewelery (umm, snap bracelets!), special outfits that you wore over and over, and crazy cool shoes that you couldn't wait to show off to people at school.
I had all these things, including this wig, that i wore for the first time when i was a rock star for Halloween in second grade. My outfit consisted of rock star tights (i believe they were purple), black cowboy boots (i got them at Wal-mart and proceeded to wear them everywhere after the fact), a short tight pleather skirt and i believe that my top was also pleather (so cool!). Of course i had the gloves with the fingers cut out and the sunglasses. The sunglasses that i wore then are actually considered cool again thanks to a now famous designer. Who knew i was such a style icon??!
Of course things have changed, my dreams are not to become a rock star (well ok, yes they are!), i don't wear pleather skirts (most of the time) and my dog now wears the wig i was so fond of. Well, maybe sometimes i secretly wear it around the house...shhhhhhh....
It's funny how things from your childhood appear and manage to keep hanging on despite moves, marriage and dogs. Maybe today you can find something in your house that takes you back and makes you laugh, a little or a lot!

Eyebrow's and chocolate?

2009-02-28T15:18:00.000-06:00

This talent is something we all wish we had. If you did you would be in this ad.

Only Natural

2009-02-28T10:00:00.000-06:00

I came across this product while meandering amongst the aisles of a local retailer. Of course i was intrigued. Being someone who doesn't usually drink pop because of it's unappetizing ingredient list, i had to put one in my cart, just to try it. The taste is different than the regular cola, the flavor not as heavy, a little brighter. The high fructose corn syrup is gone, replaced by regular sugar. Apple extract and kola nut extract are two ingredients that you won't find in the regular product. Overall i give this product better marks than the original. I'm still not a proponent of drinking soda, but if you're going to, this might be a better option.

Into the blue

2009-02-23T09:12:00.000-06:00

I love this color, don't you? This color inspires me and today i could use a little inspiration. Besides, it reminds me of warmer times spent along the shores of the east coast. The weathered white washed houses always had shutters and doors painted in bright, enthusiastic colors. I like to call this color "Cape Cod blue". I'm thinking about painting the shutters on our house this color once the weather warms a bit. I think it would be lovely.
Since there is a blue theme, i am also really loving this print over at 20X200.
Enjoy, but don't become too blue!

Who are you... Who am I... Wait....what?!

2009-02-20T20:21:00.000-06:00

In case you were afraid that you would not really get to know the "real me". Here is a little trivia that Heather over at Dooce answered so eloquently and i thought i would just go ahead and do the same.

What are your middle names?
Ellen and John....Matthew John, i believe these names are from a widely popular book. His parents did a lot of reading.

How long have you been together?
We have been married 8 months and together for 3 and a half years.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I met Matt when i first started working in the hospital pharmacy. He was just one of many that i happened to meet that day. About 6 months later we finally had a conversation....so to answer the question, 6 months.

Who asked whom out?
I told our little match maker at work that i was fed up with having to be the one to ask the guy out. So, he obviously asked first, after much poking and prodding.

How old are each of you?
I'm 26, he's now in a different box than me...30!

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Hmmm...his one sister lives in San Francisco and my one younger brother lives in Madison. I'd see we see each equally.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I think when it comes to organization and money. He's planned and organized...i'm not. I'm a little scattered and sometimes a little particular. He doesn't like ambivalence...i like to make plans spur of the moment.

Did you go to the same school?
Sort of....i graduated from the UofM in 2005 with my degree in Nutrition. He completed his PharmD in 2004. He went to St. Johns before that.

Are you from the same home town?
No. I am from Madison and he is from Omaha, NE.

Who is smarter?
He is....he's very book smart, very dedicated to his studies. I on the other hand might be more "street smart"....that's right i said it! Although, i could be book smart if i really wanted to be....;)

Who is the most sensitive?
Not me!

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
If we go to a restaurant we like to try new places but if we want something greasy and good probably this great bar titled appropriately enough Matt's Bar. They have the cheeseburger with the molten cheese in the middle. Usually we just get take out.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
San Francisco....crazy! Maybe Block Island...we took our honeymoon there and you actually have to take a boat to get there.

Who has the craziest exes?
Surprisingly enough he probably does, even though he has less of them. I don't think any of my exes ever tried to off themselves....no sure though....

Who has the worst temper?
me??? Although i did not freak out over a grilled cheese or a chicken sandwich..heh!

Who does the cooking?
I do....i love food. I love drooling over cook books. I wish he cooked for me but he is just lacking the passion. If i could afford it i would have a personal chef...now that would be awesome!

Who is the neat-freak?
Well gauging from the large pile of my clothes in the corner of the room and his spotless side of the dresser, it's not me.

Who is more stubborn?
He's the Taurus...enough said.

Who hogs the bed?
He's six foot five and we sleep in a queen..who do you think? Actually it might be our two dogs.

Who wakes up earlier?
He gets up early to go to work but even if he didn't he'd be up folding clothes or doing the dishes way before i could even fathom the thought that i will eventually have to get out from underneath my warm comforter.

Where was your first date?
The Depot for ice skating, then a Harry Potter movie and dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

Who is more jealous?
Taurus and Scorpios are about equal but the Scorpio by just a tail.

How long did it take to get serious?
We moved in together after six months.

Who eats more?
I think he does but sometimes it's hard to tell. I fell like i eat more than he does some days and then i wonder why i'm not 300 pounds and the spokesperson for Jenny Craig.

Who does the laundry?
We each do our own. Sometimes i think that's weird..is that weird??

Who's better with the computer?
Hmmmm...i think that's a draw.

Who drives when you are together?
Depends, ever since i had my car accident 10 years ago it's been hard for me to trust anyone and i mean ANYONE! He's a good driver and most of the time he drives but sometimes he drives me crazy with his old man driving. Hello...did you just celebrate your 80th birthday? Just don't get too out of control because i can't stand drivers who think they have to be somewhere that much faster than you.

Happy Weekend!

2009-02-20T14:55:00.000-06:00

My pug, Emma, would like to extend her wishes to you for a Happy Weekend. She says to make sure you go to a lovely eclectic eatery, such as The Blackbird Cafe for breakfast.

Love the one you're with

2009-02-20T13:57:00.000-06:00

“Love the one you’re with” These lyrics seemed to have spontaneously appeared in my brain and now I can’t help writing them and singing them all day and night! I think this simple little sentence can be a simple little lesson to most… “Appreciate what you have!!!!” Yes, you’re significant other can be a pain and he can ask you if you have ever seen a Harry Potter movie even though you saw one on your very first, yes that’s right, FIRST date EVER! I will still excuse that idiotic slip up because at the end of the day, he’s the one I’m with and he’s with me and we both have neuroses that we must deal with in an attempt not to drive the other one to suicidal tendencies. So I guess all I’m saying is not to ignore all that little stuff that drives you to the brink of insanity, but to embrace it and say over and over to yourself “I will not let the fact that he cut the cheese wrong for his own grilled cheese put us in divorce court.” No, I will shut my mouth leave the room, not make any mention of this horrible wrongdoing. I can always buy more cheese and I’m not even going to eat what he made, so get over it! Yes folks…. “Love the one you’re with.”