A little family time

This last weekend Jude's Grandpa and Great Aunt were in town to celebrate a string of birthday's.
We played the piano, watched movies, ate pizza and went to check out some local art.
It's always so much fun to see Jude getting to know his relatives, even if they live many miles away. I hope that he will always maintain a great relationship with each one of them. My extended family is small and Jude is the only grandchild for my parents. If he feels as loved as i do from all my extended family, he'll turn out just fine. Sometimes having a small family is nice, but i guess i don't have much to compare it to. All i know, is we all just really enjoy each others company. 

I choose sleep

Most days of my life i'd rather catch some zzzz's than stay up typing away words with no specific meaning. I enjoy writing (obviously) but i don't have that obsessive compulsion that is built in to some people's DNA that keeps them going even when their eye lids close mid sentence. That's the problem with any career ambition i might seem to conjure up, i'd rather crawl under my comforter than deal with text book reading and lecture sitting or for that matter, paper writing. Maybe it's because i really don't know the direction my life is going at the present, although does anybody really? Or actually it's because i really do just like sleep. I mean who doesn't enjoy sleep? On days when it's a bit cold and the clouds form this gray oppressive layer that literally feels like its enveloping any motivation I might have started the day with, the bed calls. I walk past my short dark hallway and see the rumpled comforter peeking out the doorway, it's saying "come...you know you want to. I am so cozy and warm and soft. Who needs to be productive? Just come and take a little nap."
Now, since i have a two year old most of the time i can't give in. It's when he's sleeping that i have a hard time resisting. "Ok!" i say, "but just for a little bit, i should be doing other things."
Damn you bed, why do you have to be so tricky, but oh so inviting?
I get snuggled in and the warmth starts to blanket me while my cheek feels the softness of my flannel sheet beneath it. Soon enough i hear the click, click of the pug's toe nails as she trots down the hallway in line for the bed. Her compact little pug body nuzzles under the covers and soon she's sleeping in the crook of my legs. Her face squished but happy against my knee. She snorts and then sighs in to a dreamy sleep beside me. I drift off maybe for a handful of minutes, only to be awakened by the little boy in the next room alerting me that he is ready to get up. Nothing gets you out of bed quite like a child wanting to to paid attention to. "up, up.....uuuuuppppp!!!" Yes, alright...i hear you!!
I can't lounge quite like i used to, in college i was the master at "studying" in bed, the latter didn't last long but the naps were fabulous. Nothing lasts forever, and i need to remind myself religiously of  that when i'm not able to get the sleep that i need, that i crave, even if it's absent for just one night. Honestly, the "Nothing lasts forever" mantra should be the official slogan of parenthood. It reminds me that this moment will pass, whether it is meant to remind me to linger in the moment or when i'm frustrated and angry that this too will be just another memory that i will be laughing about a few years (or weeks) down the road. Things are experienced and then forgotten, tears are cried and wiped away and heads are bonked and always kissed better. Everything is fleeting and when we have children we just hope that the moments that pass, whether they be big or small, end up tucked away in a little crevice of our brain, easily accessible when we need something to keep us going. Whether I'm lacking sleep and my eyelids feel like they are closed before they even open or i'm frustrated and short tempered because my life is not going the way i had envisioned it. I'm conciously trying to remain in the present and enjoy the moments as they come. Even if its just the few minutes i get to lie in bed with my pug, or the moment I press the publish button on my blog, these just might be enough to give me the momentum i need without having to bide my time before i can have my first glass of wine and drink my anxieties away. The little moments, they matter more than any one of us ever anticipates.

Have a Spooky weekend!

This cutie is going to be a dinosaur this weekend (or a bumble bee or shark) depending on mood, of course.
Since turning two his M.O. seems to be all about exerting his independence...i thought i had learned to let go, a lot. Turns out i need to learn to let the little things go and figure out what is really worth fighting for. Unfortunately for him, pants are a non-negotiable, when we're going out in public anyway.
Who knew putting on a pair of jeans could be so drama filled.

Taste Away

 I like chocolate and so should you, especially chocolate that is carefully crafted and hand wrapped.  These guys know what to do with a good cocoa bean. Don't be afraid of the price, it's worth it. You should buy some...or else, well i'm not really sure, but it sounds serious! Just buy it...

In sync, out of sync?

Having just read about productivity via another blog, i thought i would put my two cents in on the subject that so many people are quite obsessed with. I'm sure i could write page after page bitching about how much time people spend texting and reading facebook instead of doing their work so i will keep it short, because you have to get back to being productive right? It seems everything these days is designed to increase our productivity. We have our phones with calendars that sync with our email that sync with our laptops that sync with, well, who knows what.  You would think with all this sync-ing that people would be sitting back having a drink, enjoying this free time and then becoming incredibly afraid that electronics have taken over their entire life. Is this the same as when tv dinners were the new amazing way that a housewife could escape cooking?  Most of us are pretty aware that these meals in a tray may be faster and easier, but they taste like the package they are cooked in and are pretty much as healthy as the cardboard box, at least the latter might have fiber. If this is a surprise to you, i invite you to read the ingredients of your "Salisbury steak in gravy", let me know if you recognize any of those ingredients.
All this stuff that is supposed to make us productive is  actually decreasing our productivity! One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone lists off all the things that they did in the day and then proceeds to tell me they didn't have time to take a lunch, and then complains about it. Come on..you schedule everything else, and if it actually comes down to you needing to schedule a lunch with yourself, i think you need to get a new job or a new life. Usually i find myself equating productivity with priorities. Think about what you really want to do in your day and make it a goal to do that. If you don't get around to doing something just say, yeah, i took a nap instead or went on the internet to research these awesome shoes i desperately wanted. Naps are good, it's ok to want to take a nap..you are not a bad person for taking one! And so are shoes, but naps have actually been shown to increase productivity. Seriously, save your money, don't buy the most technologically advanced toy and take a free siesta. So maybe it's not that i'm against increasing productivity, just don't make excuses and don't let these gadgets turn your life in to something you don't recognize. Live in the world, not behind your screens!

  Now, when my iphone can sync with my brain while it is sleeping and record my dreams and interpret their meaning so i don't have to pay money to a therapist, excellent, i'll contemplate buying that.

Like a kid

Yesterday morning we walked to the park with our pajamas on. It was early and I still had my coffee mug in hand, his hand in my other hand. It was spontaneous and fun. The best times are had when you had no prior intentions, expectations or apprehensions. They look at us as their role models...i think it's time we look to them.

October

I seriously love October! Here are just a few ways we have been enjoying the weather...
Going on walks and stomping in the leaves
Eating delicious fall apples
Hanging out with friends

 Still a bit of summer left

 mmmm....bun and isles

Fantasy Celebrity League wk 1

Here are the scores from last week. Some people are clearly better celeb drafters than others...i vote for some free agent celeb pics!
Aubrey 23
Katie 10
Melissa 8
Ashley 7
Erin 5
Kerry 3

A longing for Gourmet

I was throwing out some of my old magazines this weekend and among the ancient Martha Stewarts and Cookie magazines, i found some of my old dusty issues of Gourmet. Initially i was disappointed when it folded a year or so ago but as i was paging through it's glossy pages, i really began to mourn it's loss! The textures and colors of the recipes brought to life through it's gorgeous photographs made me want to continue reading and eating what i saw before my teary eyes. I miss Ruth Reichl's commentary about the intersection of life and food. I have her books but i can only read and re-read those so many times. I know you're just going to tell me to go on-line and read the new issues but that's not enough for me. I want to feel the weight of the pages and pages of recipes and ingredients in my hand. I have no desire for a kindle, i prefer to actually accumulate and read actual bound books. Maybe i'm behind the times and old fashioned. The internet has it's place and i love it but it's not enough, i want my Gourmet waiting for me once a month in my actual, real life mailbox!

Life

        Food Truck (yum!)

        Farmer's market flowers

         These would be so tasty roasted!

       Enjoying some tub time with a few bath friends

         A typical night

I welcome normal and routine in to my life right now...it feels really, pretty amazing.

Murphy

Saturday morning i made my way to the coffee shop down the road to work on a few things for my 
psychology class. Sitting down in my chair, at a very small table that was a bit wobbly, i pulled out my computer and notebook, textbook and pen. The coffee roaster stood behind me, not roasting coffee but taking up a bit of noticeable space. A small area for children was in the corner stocked with the usual germ covered wooden toys and picture books. I have a hard time settling unless i am familiar with my surroundings.
 A couple years ago i was quite settled in this particular coffee shop, reading my notes at a table next to the window and in a glance a guy had his pants pulled down, full frontal. Not to take a piss or anything but just wanted the world to see what his penis looked like. I don’t understand why men want everyone to know what they’ve got down there. They’re always scratching it, pulling at it or in this case, showing it off to a room full of caffeine addicts (it was night time after all). I only got a brief show before the guy took off in to the night. I just don’t get it, i know men have penises but i don’t particularly want to see them. I sat there, a bit stunned about what just went down. I wondered if anybody else had seen this. Clearly not, nobody’s face resembled that which had just seen a strange man’s appendage. I thought it best to tell the tattooed latte pourers what just went on and they seemed a bit shocked and concerned but frankly a little confused. I didn’t really expect much from them but leaving the shop that night i was a bit on edge. What if that guy had a weird obsession with me? What if he wants to keep me from telling the authorities what he did so he just decides to murder me?! What if he wants to rape me with that ugly penis of his? Really i could go on and on, thankfully i made it to my car with no flasher in sight.
With this memory aside, I figured the morning would be a safer bet. I’m getting all my stuff out, checking my email and reading the paper when no sooner do the neighborhood seniors sit down, right next to me. One woman comes rushing in and the first words i hear out of her mouth are “I spent the whole night in the ER.” Great, here comes a story, and a long one at that.
“Yesterday while we were out, Murphy somehow got in to a whole can of cocoa powder. It looked like he had ingested quite a bit so i felt his heart and it seemed to be racing!”
“Oh my!” said the other gray haired woman.
“Yes, so you know, i thought it best to take him in. They made him throw up and then they gave him some charcoal so that the rest of the cocoa could be absorbed. He seems to be doing alright but we will be at home all weekend watching him.” She said with a sort of exasperated sigh.
“Well of course, that sounds frightful!”
Clearly focusing on my work was going to be an issue, i have enough problems i don’t need a story about a chocolate eating barfing dog to distract me anymore and i definitely don’t need to hear it told to each person who proceeded to join their coffee club. And then, lo and behold, in comes the dog. Murphy the beagle wandered around the table eating crumbs and hacking up his lungs periodically while i sat and read about conception. At least it was an intriguing chapter.

September!

Yes, i know...it is a bit soon for this, but i couldn't resist.

Isn't it lovely though??

As of late, i have been meditating on my life's direction and how to find meaning in my daily activities.
I came across this article by Anne Lamott and i think it is great and inspiring. Just something to tuck in to the back of your mind for whenever you may need a reminder about purpose or what you really want your life to be. If you don't make time now, when will you??


"Oh Summer, you are slowly slipping away like the feeling left behind after that last drink that left you feeling so fine....Delicious and full of freedom, but fleeting nonetheless."

THe new happy hour

There is a time in the day, that when you have a small child, your life becomes a living hell. Late afternoon is unbearable, right up until dinner is eaten, cleaned up off the floor and dishes washed, does it become bearable. I now understand the concept of happy hour. I know lots of people that when they get off work they rush over to the bar to save a few bucks on a drink or two to de-stress from their day. That is all good and lovely but i cannot take my two year old to the bar without having child protective services haul me away. Stay at home parents need a break too (maybe more so), especially if your day has been one of those you would rather forget, but since walls have been drawn on and tantrums have been thrown, it will be a day your brain won't let you forget. This is why i am instating the three tiered happy hour. The starting hour is flexible, 3pm sure, 4pm why not, and 5pm yes hurry up! This is when you start to calm down, nerves are beginning to be defrayed and your life is becoming happy, hence happy hour. This is also the time that you are trying to throw something from your fridge in to a frying pan and hoping that it comes out edible. The happy hour assists nicely in the mania that is trying to plan meals. What’s that, small child?? You only want to eat fruit snacks for dinner? Oh silly silly, you are going to sit in your chair and eat this pork chop whether you like it or not! Mommy has had a couple drinks, so don’t think that you will wear me out with your whining, i just might pass out, but then at least i will be oblivious and getting some sleep! Once you are moving in the direction of happy and you’re still standing, you can then transition in to happier territory, since you have already begun the slow and steady slide down the slippery slope of vodka (or whatever your alcohol of choice is), at this point, you should be happier. Dinner is probably on the table, or the floor, in the case of our house, but everyone is eating something at the very minimum, even if there is still the yelling for snacks! If you dare venture in to the hour that is sometimes the most difficult but final victory and bedtime is near, then you will become the happiest yet. Another drink eases the pain that is reading Good Night Moon and singing wheels on the bus fifty million times. Oh hooray again, again! Alright, small child, right after mommy drinks a little more mind eraser. I know this may sound bad but let’s just admit what we are all really thinking. Obviously we love our children but sometimes...sometimes, we just need that little something to take the edge off. Don’t feel guilty, guilt already takes up residence in other parts of our lives, don’t let it when it comes to staying cool and collected at the most critical time of day. I give you all permission to create your own happy hour(s)!

Story time

He wants to finish the book so bad but is just sooo tired...sweet dreams my buddy...
xo mama

a day for cake

I love celebrating Birthdays. It's the one day a year people are excited for you and encourage you to eat cake. It wasn't my birthday this past week, the hubby turned 33! Jude seems to think that it's his birthday every time we bring out cake and candles. That's ok though, I love seeing him get excited about lit candles and the way his little voice shouts out "cake!" I hope he never looses his enthusiasm for the simple things in life.

Summertime

Totally exciting!

Motherhood....

....is amazing....

A few days in the sun

Last weekend i was in Phoenix and although the weather was a welcome change from the forty degrees and rain that seems to be blanketing MN, the weekend was interesting to say the least.
Every time i go on vacation, i return home more grateful than ever for my seemingly normal life with my husband, son and dogs. Being away makes me appreciate preparing simple meals in my own kitchen, taking walks to the park and snuggling with my pug on the couch.
Now don't get me wrong, i loved not having to worry about cleaning up spilled milk, changing diapers and planning my day around nap time. It was very refreshing having some freedom for a bit. I think i'm good though on airplane travel for a while. I still have a hard time with the thought that being trapped in a large metal object hurtling through the air at high speeds is a good idea. Something about it just freaks me out!
Oh, and i wasn't actually smoking...remember candy cigarettes? A true (and semi-disturbing) classic!

a january day

Today I discovered a new yogurt i am crazy about. Apparently target has stopped carrying my much loved fage cherry yogurt so this is now the replacement.
New fun art supplies came out of storage and made their way on to some paper. They are so beautiful to look at, sometimes i actually hate to use them and ruin their pristine newness.
Jude also had his first "taste" of drawing, and by taste, yes he actually tasted the pen and pencils. So, art time might need to be put on hold for a bit until he stops thinking the drawing supplies are tasty treats.

Juice!

Why can't these delicious looking juices be available here??

I did just buy a juicer so obviously i will have to start my own juicery!

Ingredient suggestions??

Poker Face

This is the face that i love but it is also the face that i loathe. As of late, it seems to be a common expression. I guess i can't blame him, i would be whiney if i couldn't clearly communicate my every want and need. haha

All my houses

This year, my favorite Christmas present was the present i gave to myself. I walked in to Williams Sonoma Christmas eve day and bought myself a shiny new espresso machine. It really is a beautiful machine, it's this one here. The really nice sales woman told me how great this machine was, gave me all the info that i ever wanted to know and more and then, then she told me that people like them so much that they buy one for all their houses.
Excuse me?? what did you just say??! oh yes right, all of their houses...of course, how silly of me to not understand, that was the first thought that popped in to my head, obviously i will need to get one for my second home and let's make it on the ocean, as long as we're playing that game...ahhhh hahahaha yeah right!
When she said this to me so matter of factly, i just kept nodding right along with her, it was as if she had just said, "so you see this button here? This is what you press to turn it on"...yes, just as natural as that. I almost made a snide remark about the multiple houses but then i figured it best that she just assume we were people with multiple homes. Never mind that the only reason i am buying this one (yes, only one!) machine is because i received a bit of money for christmas, and even then it really was a bit of a splurge.
But i deserve nice things once in a while, right?