Thursday, February 4, 2010

Involuntarily volunteering

When you find out you're going to have a baby, the first thing you do is take another pregnancy test because clearly that one was no good. After you spend another twenty dollars to find out the same thing you already knew, you begin to envision your life with a baby. You think about all the walks you will take together, the fun shopping excursions, visits to the zoo and visits with the grandparents. What you don't think about is how you will spend the other vast majority of your days. All those other things, they take up, like two hours of your time, the other 5 bazillion hours are free to do, haha well not free exactly, but they are hours that need to be filled. Let me tell you exactly what they are filled with, especially if it's 10 degrees and snowing out. First, feedings...the child needs to eat right?? Then there is the diaper changing, the changing from the pajamas in to a new outfit, then changing that outfit after it has either been soaked by the mass quantities of drool or mass quantities of other not so nice substances from the other end. When the child is finally presentable the entertainment can now begin. Oh yes and you must have many tricks up your sleeve because right now the most entertaining thing to them is....their own fists. Hmmmmm...feeling bored, stick your fist in your mouth...problem solved. Unless you have forgotten that you have hands...oh wait there they are, haha surprise there they are AGAIN the most interesting thing in the whole world. Don't forget the loud sucking noises that must accompany the discovery of the fist in the mouth entertainment. Oh wait, bored of this, what's next? How about a bright colored object to dangle in front of them. A couple of smiles and then, oh wait, nope let's walk around the house for a bit instead. You're feeling tired?? No, impossible, this child is definitely not ready for a nap. Are you ready to find out what happens next????! Well just put the above on repeat and there you have your life for at least the first 6 months, possibly longer or at least until summer arrives.
I used to think i had a problem doing monotonous work but i do essentially the same thing everyday (still better than sitting in a cubicle). Sometimes i read "The big red Barn" instead of "Baa baa, la la la"..... i know, it's wild. This is the day to day life of living with someone who is completely dependent on you. You do their laundry, you change their clothes and give them a bath. You are in charge of their entertainment and are responsible for their food and your food. Just when you think that the responsibilities will never end, they seem to just start all over again. I think that if people really could anticipate and prepare for this, they wouldn't want to do it. It's challenging and grueling, predictable yet unpredictable, exhaustive and humbling. Some days i just want quiet and to pull the covers back over my head. I knew what i was giving up the moment i saw that double pink line appear on that over-priced piece of plastic. I could imagine what the life that lay ahead of me was going to be like, but what i couldn't ever imagine, EVER, EVER, was the feeling that i would get every time his big blue eyes would look in to mine,that i was who he was recognizing as his mother. I am now one of those people shedding tears at random tv shows and commercials with children, i was always immune from this stuff! It really is amazing that people voluntarily sign up for this lifestyle..seriously now, are you people all on crack??!! Yes, does seem to appear that way...carry on then.

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