Happy Birthday Emma Pug!

Today my little pug bug turns 3! The time has gone so fast. It feels like just the other day that she was just a little pugger chewing on all the furniture. Now she has grown up to be a big pug with quite the personality. Happy Birthday pudger!

Please pass the thesauraus

I am seriously sick of the word "swoon". Everyone seems to be "swooning" over everything. Maybe if these people swoon long enough, they will pass out, hit their head and suddenly forget that word existed in their vocabulary. I'm not really that evil that i would wish injury on these people, but i believe it has reached a pandemic. Next time you find something that you want to swoon over, just remember a few other descriptive words from your past, such as "awesome", "groovy" or just plain ol' "neato".

Priceless moments

For the past couple of days i have been suffering from what i believe is called "Pregnancy Brain". It has to do with all those crazy circulating hormones and i suppose they have to wedge themselves in somewhere so a logical place would be in your brain, interrupting all normal thought processes.
Saturday afternoon i was just casually minding my own business in my own house when i get a knock at the door. I hate people coming to my door. My first thought is always "this person will probably murder me" and of course when these murderers come knocking my husband is always MIA. Since i was just lounging on the couch and the dogs were acting like spazoids i had no choice but to answer. I step outside and this guy in athletic shorts is standing in front of me ready to give his pitch. It's these times that i wish they were the save the environment people, at least you feel somewhat comfortable in assuming they are naturally peaceful and well intentioned individuals. This guy was not one of those. His opening line was "are you a vegetarian?" I should have said yes, but because my brain was malfunctioning due to an excess of hormones of course i said no way, me, never! That's when i glanced up and saw his rusted van parked across the street...hmmmm. A normal non-pregnant functioning person would have closed the door right there. So after a couple of half assed attempts to make him go away i gave in a bought practically a whole cow. Of course my normal brain functioning kicked in and i googled this company and realized i had just bought a freakin' cow from a business with questionable practices. Obviously the meat is all government inspected, i'm not that dumb, yet.....and we have eaten some of the meat and seem to still be alive. So if a rusted van pulls up at your door and asks if you are a vegetarian, just say yes!
If the meat episode wasn't enough, this morning i get in my car to go to my dr's appointment and realize half way down the street that i forgot these three bubble wrapped packages i needed to mail. So i reverse, and put the car in neutral while i run inside. You cannot leave a 5 speed car in neutral, especially on a slight incline, i found out. I'm inside trying to wrangle the dogs in the kitchen and grab my packages and out the front window i see my car rolling backwards toward a busy street of incoming traffic...shit! A logical person would have dropped everything and just run out there, but no, i had to grab my stuff first and lock the door before psychotically running across the neighbors yards toward my automatically reversing car. I did manage to successfully enter a moving vehicle with packages in hand and stop the car before any damage was done. I just hope no one saw this whole fiasco out their living room window...the psycho pregnant girl running after her moving car...nice.
All i can say is i hope the research is right and you become SMARTER after you birth a child.

Morning inspiration

A little deliciousness to start the day!

A little action in the 22nd week

Baby bump or the after effects of eating more than my fair share of a large supreme pizza? I don't think a pizza would be karate chopping away at my bladder, you never know, that pepperoni packed a pretty mean punch to the mouth.

The imposter

Today marks my 22nd week of pregnancy (hooray!) and i have felt pretty much like my normal self in the past few weeks. I feel it's well deserved after being stricken with the piggy flu and then the stomach virus that i thought was going to eat my insides and never allow me to digest a normal meal ever again. I do not take for granted feeling healthy, both mentally and physically. Every morning that i wake up, well alive..yes key point here, not wanting to shield myself from the world or feel like vomiting, i rejoice! Serioiusly, i am just really grateful for everything in my life right now. Enjoy this expression of emotion, it doesn't happen very often...
Since finding out a couple of weeks ago that we're having a boy, i now feel that it is legitimate for me to do some shopping. I mean, come on, the clothes are just so small and cute. Although part of me gets a little freaked that something that will fit in to this seemingly small outfit is going to be exiting from my soon to be not so private region. Regardless, i will continue to shop...maybe if i spend enough money the anxiety of being broke will outweigh the anxiety of birthing a child. Highly unlikely but worth a shot....
So the past couple times i have walked in to one of these speciality baby stores I am greeted warmly and then i get the following "are you looking for a gift?" Now, under normal circumstances this would be a legitimate question but when you are shopping for yourself because you are, ahh, pregnant, then it is slightly insulting. If you are pregnant then you are shopping most likely for, surprise, yourself! I don't know, maybe i should wear a more revealing shirt or one of those tacky shirts that has your child's due date on it. Actually i think one of those t's that says "exit here" with the arrow pointing to your crotch would be appropriate, especially when going to a shower thrown by your catholic inlaws. Now that i think about it, that would be hilarious....especially when i drive up in my pro-choice mobile.
I think next time someone asks me if i'm shopping for a gift i will say no and proceed to lift up my shirt. Ha, who's shopping for a gift now insensitive sales lady!

My attempts...... thwarted... yet again

A brilliant idea came to me a month or so ago that this summer would be a great time to take a class at the University. My reasoning being that if i wanted to go back to school sometime after birthing my husbands kin, that now would be as good as any to get a head start. As it turns out, NEVER is a good time for me to go back to school. The above photo shows what happens after taking organic chemistry five, yes i said FIVE times. The remains are torched, never to be seen again. That was one stubborn book, kinda like the old selfish man with no soul who failed me on three separate occasions, i should have put him in there. I'm not sure but being burned alive is probably about equal to having to study organic chemistry equations, at least a close second on the pain scale. Although sitting in jail for manslaughter is not my idea of a fun vacation so i think i made the better choice, burn the book, not the professor.
So anyway, here i am taking this class and it is not going well. There is nothing preventing me from doing well, except myself. I am supposed to be doing my assignment now, due at 3:30 and here i am writing this! It's like my brain malfunctions and revolts as soon as i specifically sit down to study, it has some issues prior to the sitting down but i figure if i can at least get myself seated then half the work is done.
So this morning i went to Dunn Bros at 7...yes 7am on a Saturday just so i would have no distractions. HA, my brain is a distraction in and of itself. I got my mocha (yes it was caffeinated), my rice krispie bar and took a seat. My first thought was, well i need to have something in my stomach so i will eat first. So i caffeinated myself and munched away on the rice krispie bar that was the size of my head, and read the paper. Ok so not studying yet, i'll at least get my book out of my bag and read through the assignment. Suddenly i have an insane desire to check out the menu of this restaurant i've been wanting to go to...hmmmm maybe we should go there soon, looks good, BBQ chicken flat bread pizza! Ok back to reading the assignment, wait i should open the book to the appropriate chapter, yes nice work. Now the book is open and the assignment has been read and.....nothing...i see a couple and their child walking on the sidewalk out the window, that will be me soon! Why don't we live in this neighborhood with all these nice people walking their children to the co-op? Ahh see this is not working, who's idea was it to take this stupid class?? I continued to sit there in and realize that i am shaking the whole bench that i am sitting on from my fidgeting, i'm surprised people aren't falling to the floor left and right of me, they must be too polite to say anything because even i am annoyed with me. Well, clearly this isn't working. I pack up my things quickly, trying to create the illusion that i have somewhere to be immediately, otherwise why would i be leaving so soon after i got there...how long has it been...ok about an hour, not too horrible i suppose. Alright so finally i arrive home again, 9 am, plenty of time to do the assignment. Ok time for a nap! Obviously i have earned it due to my great accomplishments of rice krispie eating and mocha drinking. Well, i can only go up from here...

A different kind

My Sleeping, Eating and Drinking habits have become something of a different kind in the past few months due to a soon to be strapping young man taking up residence in my uterus. Yes, i'm growing a penis as we speak, inside...not out, just wanted to be clear on that one.
So I am no longer partaking in delicious hoppy beverages brewed in foreign countries, eating raw animal flesh or sleeping like a porpoise (for those of you who don't know, that means sleeping on your stomach). All in all my life has taken a dramatic turn in to the unfamiliar now that i am seemingly more concerned for the life inside of me, haha as opposed to my own?? Funny how that works....is that what they call the "motherly instinct", or the dreaded nesting?? If it is, it's staring me straight in the face making me do crazy things i have never before believed i would want to do, such as dust the shelves...CRAZY! I still feel dusting is rather frivolous, you wipe the cloth across and the dust just gets transferred somewhere else, YEA more CLEANING, and a waste of time. I just can't imagine what other nonsense this 21 week old being is going to be having me doing in the coming weeks, scrubbing the floors perhaps, eek, please god no, not that! Stay tuned and we shall see.....